My Home Page
How Could I Have Been the One (1/19)
A fanfic by Carter Colby
Disclaimer: Yata Yata Yata, ABC TV. Not me. Uninvited by Allanis Moresette
Scenes not exactly as seen on General Hospital Artistic liscence.
*********************************************************************************************************************
"...One day you realize that you are never going to get to them, and you wasted your entire life trying. Of course, I guess the same could be said for me."
Oh my god! Did that just come out of my mouth? That was not about Stephan and you know it! Oh god! Is that about Nikolas?!? I was talking about Nikolas! I am falling in love with Niko-Noooooooooooooooooo way in hell am I falling in love with-, he’s going to say something, I hope not about that -what would happen if I just touched his lips, just with my fingers?
"The courage to love is strength, not a weakness."
He’s too close, too close; I can smell his aftershave-and why do I want to touch him? Say something Kat. ANYTHING!
"Oh, yeah. I am feeling really strong right now."
Damn! Kathrine! ‘I’m feeling strong-yata yata yata’ What the hell is that line? God Kathrine, he’s getting closer! What do you do? What do you do? I bit down on my lip. Owwwww. Hard.
Like anyone would be / I am flattered by your fascination with me
"You want to know what I see? Huh? I see a beautiful woman "
He thinks I’m beautiful? Really?
"...Who takes my breath away, a woman I can't resist."
Like any hot blooded woman / I have wanted an object to crave / But you, you’re not allowed / You’re uninvited/
"...A woman who deserves to be loved."
Oh god. Oh this is not good. Did he say he loves me? This isn’t happening is it? It just can’t be happening. I can’t do this, it, it isn’t right; this isn’t -He’s going to kiss me! He’d better not kiss me! He’d better kiss me! Kathrine! Well you’d better decide cause he’s getting closer. No, I’ll turn my head, it will be a cheek kiss, and cheek kisses are allowed. Oh god I think I want him.
Oh sweet-I want him-NO! Kat, you want him.
His lips touch mine and I swear I have been kissed before (UNDERSTATEMENT), but oh, not like this. It sounds stupid and foolish and so impossible, but when our lips meet, it’s, WOW! It’s like the world’s crashing down around us and spinning and flying in a thousand and one different directions and, and the only thing that keeps me from falling off is Nikolas. Nikolas. God!
He brushes my lips at first, to ask for permission, for something. As if I can deny him of anything. And then, with a force, a force that is surprisingly gentle and strong and shocking, He parts my lips and invades my mouth. And his hands, oh, his hands are everywhere and nowhere at the same time. On my lower back, pulling me towards him, making sure I can’t leave, making sure I’d never want to leave. On my neck, pushing my mouth towards him, opening up worlds and realms of possibilities. His hands are on my face, in my hair, on my arms, legs, and shoulders.
Like any uncharted territory / I must seem greatly intriguing/
His mouth, where did he learn to kiss like this? He tests me, slipping his tongue between my lips and slowly set a pattern, challenging me to follow it. Slowly, I went out, and ran my, tasted his lips and his mouth and then retreats. His tongue sweeps past my lips, from side to side, and then, starts to go deeper, and deeper, and deeper, as if he’s trying to reach my heart from there. He already has it. WHAT?!? No, I did not just say that did I? Think it I mean! Oh god! I gasped in his mouth. Oh Nikolas! Was that out loud? No? Good!
"Nikolas!" I cry. No Damn! That was out loud. He presses into me, or was it me onto him? What power does he have, to get me to respond like this? I push myself into him, as if, if I tried hard enough, he’d open up and swallow me whole. Oh, Nikolas, I’m I- He withdraws from my mouth, and I panick and cling to his frame, instead of leaving me, like I thought he would have. Nikolas starts to softly kiss me, slowly and sweetly painful all at the same time. Down my lips, to my jaw, my neck, and across my collarbone, fire marking his path. And all I can do was accept it, allow myself to be shocked at how long it had been since, if ever I’ve felt this kind of - "Nikolas." I gasp as I bite down on his shoulder and squeeze my eyes shut. My chest hurt with the pain, of being so happy and excited and scared and feeling the joy and agony and exhilaration of every movement our bodies make. Those and the countless other emotions blended together and make me feel as if -
"Kathrine"
You speak of my love like / You have experienced a love like mine before/
He says my name! He had said it, whispered it out onto my skin and I have no idea how it affected me. Oh god. I’m lost. I anticipate every move, every thought that he is having at this point and it- he moves to the hollow of my neck, and his lips split open, I feel them spread on my skin and- Oh Lord. I’m seeing stars, just bright flashes of light and I want to- I bite my lip. Hard. And he moves along my shoulder, edging my shirt off, Oh god Nikolas, I’m not going to give in like this.
But this is not allowed / You’re uninvited / An unfortunate slight / I don’t think you unworthy / I need a moment to deliberate
How Could I Have Been The One (1-2/19)
A fanfic by Carter Colby
Disclaimer: Yata Yata Yata, ABC TV. Not me. Song In the arms of sleep by Smashing Pumpkins
**********************************************************************************************************
I can’t really remember now, what drove me to kiss Kathrine that night. I really can not. I do remember what drove me to tell her that she was beautiful and that she took my breath away, that I loved her. It was the truth. Being surrounded by lies and tricks as a child, I now tell the truth whenever I can. The look on her face, when I told her that she was beautiful, I suppose I also did it to see that face, the face of an angel rewarding me with a smile. God, I sound like a pathetic loser don’t I? Let me back up a bit here.
I’m alone with Kathrine in her room. She’s upset about Stephan, but more I believe, because that’s how she’s supposed to act. I can’t stand it anymore, Kathrine feeling sorry for herself over a man, my uncle, but still a man who was in love with someone else when all Kathrine needs to do is to look at me and see me always with her. A man who loves her and appreciates her and wants to hold her and kiss her and make love to her and needs her and to tell her everything is going to be all right and oh god, she tugs on her lip and looked up at me.
"You want to know what I see? Huh?"
Nikolas, what the hell are you doing? Are you crazy? I'm screwed, tha-
"...I see a beautiful woman "
Drop dead gorgeous woman who with a single touch can reduce me to a melty puddle of goo in the floor! Note to self, stop watching cartoons with Leslie Lu!
"...Who takes my breath away, a woman I can't resist. A woman who deserves to be loved."
There! I said it. Oh damn. She licks her lips. Lord Kathrine, don’t do this to me. I can’t resist you. Hell, I don’t want to resist you. She’s holding her breath and tugging on her hair and licking her lips all at once. Oh god, what am I doing? I bend down and brush my lips across hers. I’m waiting for her to stop me, but she doe not lips brush hers and hold there for just a second. I’m kissing her, and all the things I want to say, I want to show her slowly come out.
I need you tonite / I steal a kiss from her sleeping shadow moves
Kathrine tastes sweet, like wine and jellybeans that she keeps hidden around her room. She tastes wonderful, smells wonderful, looks wonderful and feels incredible. She fits perfectly in my arms, against my body, on my mouth, as if we were made to fit into one. I need her to fit in perfectly. Ok, Nik, you’re really sounding hokey now. I push those thoughts away from me, I know that I won’t get a chance like this again. A chance to hold Kathrine Bell in my arms, run my fingers through her hair and down her back, feeling Kathrine shiver and shudder and push herself into me.
And I’ll do anything to keep her here tonite / And I’ll say anything to keep her here tonite
The dip in her back, that curve is something that has kept me up at nights, I’d lay there and think about how it would feel, how it would move and flex and arch and twitch underneath my fingers. She slowly eases past my lips and starts to deepen the kiss- oh lord! She moaned my name. Moaned right into my mouth with this fantastic little gasp and all because I’m kissing her? Because my hands are on her? She presses against me and hooks her arms underneath mine and onto my shoulders. Kathrine had moaned and all the dozens of dozens of fantasies I have had about her at that point become nothing compared to what she’ s doing to me at that this exact moment in time. I manage to tear my mouth away from hers to kiss her face, the slope of her jaw and the nape of her neck, her eyes and the hollow in her throat. I mark them as mine, As territorial as it iss, she is mine at this point, and no one has ever held her or kissed her or possessed her.
"Kathrine"
I doubt she heard me but she arched closer to me and bites into my shoulder as I continue to explore my new land, edging off the shoulder of her shirt to reveal a new area of Kathrine to love and to kiss and to tickle and taste and possess.
Suffer my desire / Suffer my desire /Suffer my desire for you
How Could I Have Been the One (2/19)
A fanfic by Carter Colby
Rating:R (Some sexual context)
Disclaimer: Yata Yata Yata, ABC TV. Not me. U.F.O. by Holly McNarland
**********************************************************************************************************
Let me tell you a story / About a UFO in a dream
My heart’s beating so fast now that it’s now a steady hum, running all throughout my body. It’s so loud that I am sure Nikolas can hear it as he leads me to my bed. I know I should stop him here and now, before we go any further, before we do something that we will both regret. But even with these thoughts I know I will not stop this from happening. I will not stop Nikolas from taking me to my bed, I will not stop him from making love to me, or stop me from savoring this experience, save it and replay it over and over in my mind like I have done for so many of the nights that have lead up to this moment.
Nikolas’s shirt is off. And I look down and find it in my hand. I must have slowly taken it off of him. I am shocked at this, at the surge of emotions I feel at this exact moment, it’s something unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. It’s lust, I do not try and call it anything else, and it is lust but is just as pure and as beautiful as he. His hands are warm and he lifts me up and sits me down on the bed. He is young, but he knows what to do and what he wants, and looking into his eyes, I can tell that he wants me. I do not break the gaze, instead, I look into it. My hands rise up, from his trim stomach, begin to trace the muscles that shift and twitch under my fingertips which are busy learning the contours of his body, the indentations, grooves and curves that are smooth and firm and mine. I wait, until I can not wait anymore. I do not want to rush this. I stretch up to kiss his lips and slowly start moving downward, running my fingers, face, and lips over him, wanting to know each plane and muscle, each smell and taste of him. He bends and buries his face into my neck, lifting my hair and slowly kissing me, his lips and tongue move outwards, onto my shoulder, edging the shirt off of my arm and then making his way back up to my mouth. I look up, I am covered by his body bending over me, and still holding on to his waist, I lean back and receive his kiss which is urgent, hard, and invading me. And as he holds my face in his hands, he places me down on the bed and straddles me, a leg on each side as I pull him down on top of me. He pins me down, has stretched my arms up and holds them there as I squirm under him, and is beginning to explore my body. His hand glides up and down my stomach, under my shirt, pushing it up as he slowly raises his lips off of mine and lets go of my hands as he carefully grasps my hips ands holds me down as his mouth begins to make little patterns and it makes me shiver and stretch and arch up towards him. He moves higher and higher, until my bra stops him. He stops and lays at my side, his left leg still swung over me and he whispers into my ear, his hand on my stomach until I bring my hand down and thread my fingers through his. He lifts our hands up and whispers into me.
"You know I love you right? I don’t want to hurt you Kathrine, I want to make love to you."
His voice tickles my ear and I am touched by his honesty. I lean over and kiss his cheek and wipe away a tear that has trickled down his eye. I creep closer to him, so that our foreheads are touching and I whisper to him.
"I know Nikolas, I know." And so I kiss him once more, and reach behind me and unclasp my bra. He looks at me and I continue. "And I want you to make love to me."
My body feels long / My legs are a smooth as candy /
He slips his hands onto my shoulder and eases down the straps and the sleeves of my shirt. I can hear his breath echo in this empty room with its window open and the light of the moon and the candles shining. This is what you’ve waited for Nikolas. I only hope this is what you want, that this is as good as you’ve made it out to be. We some how manage to get undressed slowly and carefully. We have all the time in the world. His tongue begins to trace light lines across me and showers my skin with little, tiny kisses. He makes me tremble underneath his lips, underneath him and I do not believe it and yet, his name comes out, flies past my lips in the most intimate of cries and a grasp is caught in my throat. He holds me until I am still, he slows until I am ready to continue. And I am now, ever more convinced that this is what I’ve waited for, not Nikolas making love to me in general, but a man who can make feel like this and know it. A man who has seen me at my worst and still thinks it’s beautiful. I’ve waited for Nikolas just as long as he has for me, weather he knows it or not.
I’m as liquid as the sea /
***
A place for you and me / Completely covered in blankets /
I am somewhere between sleep and consciences, lying on my back, in my own niche amongst the pillows and the sheets and the blankets. My arm is stretched up, and Nikolas, who’s lying on top of me has his fingers threaded through mine. He crosses me and has set his head down to sleep on my shoulder. The blankets are everywhere but on us, and although it is winter and the window is open, we are both warm, wrapped up only in sheets. Our legs are tangled, I can feel his twisted around mine. My eyes slowly look around. I see his back, the red scratches and semi-circles that my teeth and my fingers have carved out of his shoulder and his back. I have never done that to a man before. I run my fingers through his hair and I feel my eyes closing.
Don’t really know what to wish for /
"Kathrine, thank you." That’s all he said, from the depths of sleep.
just look at the sky and be thankful
I slowly fall into sleep and realize that I needed to be the one to thank Nikolas. For the first time in my life, I have felt a man had truly made love to me.
How Could I Have Been The One (2-2/19)
br>
A fanfic by Carter Colby
Rating:R (Some sexual context)
Disclaimer: Yata Yata Yata, ABC TV. Not me. New Messiah by Philosopher Kings.
**********************************************************************************************************
Kathrine presses herself against me, fits herself against my chest and my lips. Presses so hard that I can feel every slope and every curve. This is what I’ve wanted, who I’ve wanted, Kathrine. I pull her close against me and continue the kiss until we stop; we both just stop knowing that something big was going to happen. She has never kissed me like this, her feelings so open and so forward. She had finally stopped lying to herself.
She pulls back and looks down at her hands toying with my shirt’s hem. She is struggling with something, some internal battle that has been brought to the surface to be played out on me. For as long as I have known Kathrine, she has always struggled with something inside of her. I stare and she realizes this, a startled look on her face as she holds my gaze and before I know it, she lifts my shirt up. I raise my arms and my shirt comes up completely and in her hands. For all my talk of maturity and my love of Kathrine, all the times we almost gave in, almost got lost in where we were going, I have never felt so self-conscious. What if she laughs? What if it all changes? What if it all changes and all the things that we have are gone in an instant? I can stop this now, stop Kathrine from running up and down my jaw, and put on my shirt and leave. But I don’t want to. I would rather take Kathrine to the bed and show her how much I loved her. I want her and I am not ashamed of this.
I slip my hands on her waist, crushing the interfering fabric against my skin and hers. I lift her up and she presses against me as I move her to the edge of the bed. I sit her down and try to read her thoughts. She looks back at me, every bit as determined to read mine. I have no fucking idea of what to do. My stomach is tingling and twisty and- her fingers and hands rise up from her lap where they were neatly folded. Carefully, she touches my skin, first brushing it with her fingertips and now she lays her hands, her whole hands on me. Her fingertips float and her palms press against my skin, her hands cold and so her path tingles and burns. She looks up at me with this, this look in her eyes, this look f utter bewilderment and wonder and. She pulls her legs up onto the bed and she stands on her knees and kisses me, she moves as if she’s keeping something, holding something back. She starts off, her lips sliding off mine, down to my neck and slowly across my chest while her fingers unbutton her shirt.
I really don’t know what to feel, what I am feeling. At this point, this has only happened in my dreams, Kathrine tearing off the shirt from my body like I’ve wanted to do to her so many times. But I know this is not a dream, this is reality. This is really Kathrines fingers tickling me and really Kathrines lips and Kathrines tongue making its way down my body. I wrap my arms around her slender waist and press her against me. She sighs and lays her head on my shoulder as my finger starts to trace her neck, her back, leading the way for my lips. I start to taste her skin and smell her hair and feel the smoothness of her curves. I start to edge her shirt off and return to Kathrine for her lips. I have no idea what she is thinking as she pulls back from me to lie on the bed, tugging me and giving me no choice but to lay down on top of her. And this, this makes it real, makes me realize that I have Kathrine pinned underneath me. Kathrine wants to be pinned down underneath me. I start moving quicker, and with more passion and desire. With my left hand, I hold Kathrines arms up against the headboard and with my right, I slid it against her body, underneath her blouse and her skin is cold. I watch with wonder how she moves when my hands rise and fall across the curves of her breasts, her hips and her tummy. I watch as she takes a sharp breath and pushes herself up, against my hand and bites her lip. I let go of her arms and slide down her body and push up her shirt. I hold onto her hips to stop Kathrine from squirming around but this causes her to move more. I slowly and carefully kiss every tiny bit of Kathrines soft skin between her waist and her bra and then I stop. I do not want Kathrine to think that this is it, sex. I do not want myself to think this is it. So I stop and slide against Kathrine, back up beside her. I let my hand linger until she brings hers to it, threads her fingers through mine.
"You know I love you right?" I ask. I know that this sounds so silly but it is often the assumed, the most simple and basic truths that go unsaid that are the unknown. "I don’t want to hurt you Kathrine. I want to make love to you."
And now, I am a little boy again, every though of being a man is seen for what it is, boyish dreams and childish games. I know she sees that now. She kisses my cheek and I feel tiny, like I’m 12 years old again. She brushes away a tear I did not know was there and presses her forehead against mine and she whispers softly to me. "I know Nikolas" And she sits up and reaches behind her and unclasps her bra "And I want you to make love to me"
I was no longer a boy, nor was I a man. Kathrine herself was not woman or girl or ex-fiancée of my uncle. She was Kathrine and I was Nikolas. And I, Nikolas loved Kathrine with all my heart. I sit up and slip the strap from her shoulder. She shivers and I ask, "Are you cold?" She nods yes and a car honks outside. The windows are open and there’s cold December air floating in making the candles quiver and shake, their shadows and lights flickering.
Slowly and carefully I finish undressing Kathrine and then myself. Our eyes do not part once. We are under the covers and in the dark. And in the dark I cover her in kisses like I’ve wanted to do for so long, down her back, along her spine and in between her shoulder blades and her neck and she giggles when I tickle her. Her normally transparent skin I imagine is now blushing pink, like her cheeks. She shakes ever so slightly under me and plays with my hair and all of a sudden- "Nikolas" It’s Kathrine saying my name, saying like she’s said it a thousand times in my dreams, but it comes out in a, an, I don’t know, this incredible little gasp that I will always remember. She’s till shaking and so I hold her, and she buries her face in my chest and my arms are around her. "I’m sorry" Her lower lip is trembling. Is she blushing now? I kiss her, and keep her near me. Her blue eyes are all hazy and dizzy looking and her fingers play on my skin. "Don’t be" I lift my hand and run it through her hair, toying with the edges. She smiles at me and whispers, "I believe-" She pecks my lips "We were somewhere" She tugs me on top of her "here".
***
She’s holding on to me, collapsed in my arms and holding on tight. I hold on just as tight. Afraid to let the moments pass. Because, soon we will have to leave this bed, leave each other. But not now. It’s all right Nikolas. I’m here, I’m not going anywhere." She whispers to my ear, I do not loosen my hold on her and she does not loosen hers on me. "Promise?" I ask. She kisses me and holds me tighter as my eyes drift down into sleep.
The New Messiah
If Ever There Was God /Please Let Him Shut My Heart / I’m No Good No More / All My Prayers Fall Short / I’m Not Strong Enough / And You Are The New Messiah / Turning My Blood Into Fire / Our Tounges Are Twisted Like Wire / In The Visions Your Body Inspires / Come Cross A River Of Fire / To Sleep In This Bed Of Desire / I’m Letting You Go To My Head / Like A Bullet To The Brain / Oooooohhhhh When I First Saw Your Brown Eyes / I Swear I’d Seen Your Face Before / But I Can’t Say Where Or When / You Were Heaven Sent / Or Just Hell Bent On Taking Me In / Or Are You Are The New Messiah / Turning My Blood Into Fire / Our Tounges Are Twisted Like Wire / In The Visions Your Body Inspires / Come Cross A River Of Fire / To Make Up This Bed Of Desire / I’m Letting You Go To My Head / Like A Bullet To The Brain
How Could I Have Been the One (9/19)
A fanfic by Carter Colby
Disclaimer: Yata Yata Yata, ABC TV. Not me. The song is Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word by Elton John and the last line is from Why by Annie Lennox
Rating: R (Some language)
**********************************************************************************************************
I stand on the stairs that lead down to the dock and look out, I already know what I’d find. The wind drawing the waves to me and Nikolas, walking away. Oh damn! I fucked up. Big time. There’s no painless way of doing this is there? Buy my way out? You don’t have to do this face to face Kat, e-mail him, write a letter, call him. No! If he can stand there and tell me he never wants to see me face to face, I can take it. Please don’t let him say that.
What have I got to do to make you love me /What have I got to do to make you care
Deep breath Kathrine.
***
"You want something from me, but you're afraid to ask for it. I thought I'd be helpful. Don't you wonder what I'm going to do with what I know about you?"
Good job Kathrine, why don’t we sound like a despre-
"What happened to you? Huh? You used to have at least a little bit of pride in yourself. What is it exactly you think I'm so afraid to ask you for, Katherine?"
Ok, it’s one thing for me to-
"My silence."
"I see. So, you've been standing out here in the freezing cold for God knows how long just to threaten me? Huh? That you'll tell the world I'm Stephan Cassadine's son unless I what -- help you hurt him? Help you punish him and my mother? Have sex with you?"
You sick, sadistic bastard you! That is cold Nikolas. Kat, he has a right to- to attack me like this? What Nikolas, like father like son? You pursue me, and land me and lay me, to what? Kat, calm down, you will not kick the crap out of him, not now anyway, that would show you care, and you don’t, you just want to be forgiven and move in. Without Nikolas Cassadine! Is that clear Kathrine? Now that we’ve seen what Nikolas does, we don’t need another self-destructive type. You’re pretty bad as it is!
What do I do to make you love me /What have I got to do to be heard
"I only want you to know that I have no intention of telling anyone."
"Just like you had no intention of telling me, right? You know what? I don't care. I'm glad I know. You can tell the whole world. It doesn't matter to me."
I HATE YOU! YOU SELF-RIGHTEOUS BASTARD!
"I doubt Stephan feels that way."
"What, you think that he only wants to hold on to the Cassadine fortune? No. No, he's concerned for me. He's concerned what my grandmother, Your good friend, would do to me."
"I think he's mistaken. I believe that Helena loves you. But I'm not about to take a chance with your life, so if Helena finds out, you'll know it did not come from me."
Great Kat, bring up his evil aunt who did this to us, good job! Go to hell.
"Should I feel deeply moved that at least for this afternoon you don't want me dead?"
Don’t tempt me! If I want you dead Nikolas, I’d kill you myself.
"We never had a chance."
What the hell are you saying Kat?!? Panic mode!
"I should have seen it. Maybe I did. There was too much against us -- my history with Stephan, our age difference. But I have no expectations now."
I love you.
"All I want, all I hope for-"
Is that you’ll forgive me?
"Is that when you look back at this, you'll understand and you'll always think of me as someone who cared about you."
What do I do to make you want me /What have I got to do to be heard /What do I say when it's all over / And sorry seems to be the hardest word
This is good bye Nikolas, say something, anything. Anything that lets me know we still have a chance. I hurt you. I’m sorry. I know you didn’t mean what you said? I know you meant it. I’m just hoping you didn’t mean it. But how could a mouth that kissed me and told me it loved me do this? Hurt me like this? You said you know me Nikolas, so what are you doing? Don’t you know I never meant to hurt you? You say you love me Nikolas, so why don’t you love me now? Nikolas, please don’t leave, don’t look at me like that Nikolas. Don’t! Don’t try to read my thoughts. Don’t draw this out. Don’t make this any harder than it already is. If you’re going to go, just go.
Some things are better left unsaid
I guess they are.
How Could I Have Been the One (9-2/19)
A fanfic by Carter Colby
Disclaimer: Yata Yata Yata, ABC TV. Not me. The song is Blue Monday Orgy/New Order
Rating: R (Some language)
**********************************************************************************************************
How does it feel to treat me like you do?
God Kathrine, just go away. Do not come down here and try to make it all right. You can’t kiss it and make it go away. I don’t want it to be all right. It’s not all right and will never be all right. Just leave me now. But no, Kathrine and you just have to walk down the wooden steps and towards me. She made some small comment on the weather, my tutor.
"Nikolas. It's colder down here by the water. Isn't there some law of physics that says it should be the opposite. Your tutor isn't waiting for you at the classics library. I left that message."
Gee. That’s subtle. What ever happened to being shy and defenseless? Didn’t think so. Actually, I just didn’t think.
"All right. Why would you be foolish enough to do that and foolish enough to tell me?"
"You want something from me, but you're afraid to ask for it. I thought I'd be helpful. Don't you wonder what I'm going to do with what I know about you?"
I thought I was mistaken, I thought I heard your words
"What happened to you? Huh? You used to have at least a little bit of pride in yourself. What is it exactly you think I'm so afraid to ask you for, Kathrine?"
"My silence."
And I still find it so hard, to say what I need to say / But I’m quite sure that you’ll tell me, just how I should feel today
"I see. So, you've been standing out here in the freezing cold for God knows how long just to threaten me? Huh? That you'll tell the world I'm
Stephan Cassadine's son unless I what -- help you hurt him? Help you punish him and my mother? Have sex with you?"
Tell me now how do I feel? / How does it feel?
Woah! That’s harsh. That is mean, that’s, she deserved it. Look at her, looking like she’d just been slapped. Sure. Like she has any feelings any ways. What about what she tried to do to me? What are you gonna try and do now Kat? Hunh? Try and seduce me? Throw a fit? What? I’m waiting.
"I only want you to know that I have no intention of telling anyone."
And I thought I was mistaken, I thought I heard you speak
"Just like you had no intention of telling me, right? You know what? I don't care. I'm glad I know. You can tell the whole world. It doesn't matter to me."
"I doubt Stephan feels that way."
Why bring Stephan up?
"What, you think that he only wants to hold on to the Cassadine fortune? No. No, he's concerned for me. He's concerned what my grandmother, your good friend, would do to me."
"I think he's mistaken. I believe that Helena loves you. But I'm not about to take a chance with your life, so if Helena finds out, you'll know it did not come from me."
My my my, what’s this? Cool and calm? Cold even? No! Not our Kathrine! Well, I’ve seen you in action before and I can be just as cold as you can.
"Should I feel deeply moved that at least for this afternoon you don't want me dead?"
Tell me how does it feel? / To treat me like you do
"We never had a chance."
Bullshit Kat and you know it. We had a chance and you killed it.
"I should have seen it. Maybe I did."
Because you’re all knowing and all seeing right? Speaking of Stephan, you were so clairvoyant that you didn’t even see Stephan shudder at the thought of a relationship with you.
"There was too much against us -- my history with Stephan, our age difference."
That’s right, if you were younger and fucked with my hea-mind, I’d care less right?
"But I have no expectations now. All I want, all I hope for is that when you look back at this, you'll understand"
Understand what? That you’re a selfish bitch? I already knew that!
"And you'll always think of me as someone who cared about you."
Not love? Come on Kathrine, you must be in denial if you think that all you feel for me is caring. If you can’t even admit that on the inside, how messed up are you? Please Kat; don’t look at me like that. Like you want to know what’s going on inside of me. You really don’t want to know. And I don’t want to know you anymore. Good bye Dear. I hope you’re hurting inside like I am. I walk away and leave my heart on the docks with Kathrine Bell.
I thought I told you to leave me, while I walked onto the beach / Tell me how does it feel, when your heart grows cold