Microsoft Sucks Microshit!
My Favorite things about non-microsoft products.
My Favorite Web Sites
Netscape
IBM
Debian Linux
Here's a counter I got from Microsoft:
Jokes
There was a pilot flying a small single engine charter plane, with a
couple of very important executives on board. He was coming into Seattle
airport through thick fog with less than 10m visibility when his
instruments went out. So he began circling around looking for landmark.
After an hour or so, he starts running pretty low on fuel and the
passengers are getting very nervous. Finally, a small opening in
the fog appears and he sees a tall building with one guy working alone on
the fifth floor. The pilot banks the plane around, rolls down the window
and shouts to the guy "Hey, where am I? To this, the solitary office
worker replies with a sign "You're in a plane." The pilot rolls up the window,
executes a 275 degree turn and proceeds to execute a perfect blind landing
on the runway of the airport 5 miles away. Just as the plane stops, so does
the engine as the fuel has run out.
The passengers are amazed and one asks how he did it. "Simple" replies
the pilot, "I asked the guy in that building a simple question. The
answer he gave me was 100 percent correct but absolutely useless,
therefore that must be Microsoft's support office and from there the
airport is just a short distance away."
Q: What's the difference between Microsoft Windoze and a computer virus?
A: The virus does less damage, takes up less disk space, and is easier to get
rid of it!!
Did you hear about the Microsoft Windows programmer who died?
He found himself in front of a committee that decides whether you
go to Heaven or Hell.
The committee told the programmer he had some say in the matter
and asked him if he wanted to see Heaven and Hell before stating
his preference.
"Sure," he said, so an angel took him to a place with a sunny
beach, volleyball, and rock and roll, where everyone was having a
great time, and there were even some scantily clad women.
"Wow!" he exclaimed. "Heaven is great!"
"Wrong," said the angel. "That was Hell. Want to see Heaven?"
"Sure!" So the angel took him to another place. Here a bunch of
people were sitting in a park playing bingo and feeding dead
pigeons.
"This is Heaven?" asked the Windows programmer.
"Yup," said the angel.
"Then I'll take Hell." Instantly he found himself plunged up to
his neck in red-hot lava, with the hosts of the damned in
torment around him. "Where's the beach? The music? The
volleyball? THE WOMEN?" he screamed frantically to the angel.
"That was the demo," she replied as she vanished.
Back to my main page
Please email me with stuff to put on my anti-microsoft page.
Email: willy@punkass.com
