EMPATH: THE LUCKIEST
"Reporter's Inside Stories: An Interview With Hefty Smurf"
Story by Vic George
Based on the Smurf concept of characters by Peyo
Reporter: While Empath may be among the most popular
Smurfs in the village, that doesn't necessarily mean he is also
the most admirable. Ever since Empath started dissmurfing his
array of incredible abilities from his "third eye", he has been
the target of jealousy among his own fellow Smurfs, most of
which possess not much of anything in the way of the
extraordinary. Even Smurfs that have been smurfed with some
better-than-average qualities such as strength, intellect,
ingenuity, agility, and speed find themsmurfs in constant envy
over what Empath could smurf. Today I would like to smurf with
one Smurf who always finds himsmurf contested with Empath, the
one and only Hefty Smurf.
(Reporter catches Hefty puffing and grunting away in his gym,
doing some weightlifting exercises. He drops the weights on the
floor when he hears Reporter approaching him and looks at him
with some suspicion as he wipes the sweat from his brow.)
Reporter: Hefty, I would like to interview you for the
Inside Stories section.
Hefty: (gruffly) Well, what is it every Smurf would want
to know that they don't already know about me? This Inside
Stories thing is a waste of time, if you ask me.
Reporter: I would just like to know why you find
yoursmurf always contesting with Empath over everything he
smurfs for his fellow Smurfs.
Hefty: Why does everything always have to smurf about
Empath? Tell me, Reporter, what is so special about him that he
needs to smurf the spotlight over every other Smurf here, huh?
Reporter: Well, Hefty, besides smurfing his "third eye"
abilities, Hefty, he does seem to have a unique personality
about him that smurfs him above all other Smurfs here.
Hefty: (snorts in disbelief) Yeah, right, and I bet you
also believe Smurfs don't age, either. Empath is a big show-off,
that's all. He thinks he undersmurfs everything about his fellow
Smurfs and what they smurf through, but if you ask me, he's
never really been there for all of us all of the time like Papa
Smurf has been.
Reporter: That's only because Empath's been smurfing in
Psychelia for most of his life.
Hefty: My point right there, Reporter. Empath's just been
so used to smurfing how those Psyches do things wherever they
smurf, he couldn't know how easy he really had it. We had to
smurf an entire village by oursmurfs about 100 years ago with
only Papa Smurf to smurf us, and things weren't always so
easysmurfing. If it weren't for the fact that Papa Smurf had
smurfed me to be his assistant in supervising every Smurf to
smurf the necessary tasks in keeping the village smurfing, I
doubt that you would be in here smurfing me these questions
about Empath. In fact, every Smurf should be grateful for me
having to smurf them into being Smurfs who actually cared about
the village they smurf in after that disaster that left every
Smurf without their own parents to smurf out for them.
Reporter: That was until Empath first visited the Smurf
Village about 80 years ago and started smurfing up for those
Smurfs that you have been smurfing down, like Grouchy.
Hefty: Grouchy always knew his place, just as I knew
years ago...as a loser who complains about everything. He was
always easy for me to smurf around since he could never smurf up
for himsmurf, and then Empath smurfed in between the two of us
and threatened to tell Papa Smurf about what I was smurfing with
Grouchy, that star-smurfed snitch. I don't even know why Empath
would want to smurf his time with such a loser unless he was a
loser himsmurf. I wasn't happy when I finally got smurfed from
being Papa Smurf's assistant supervisor after I tried to smurf
Empath a lesson for smurfing his nose in where he shouldn't.
Reporter: From what I smurfed, Hefty, you had almost
beaten up Empath, and yet he kept smurfing up to you, never
Hefty: So what if he did? He wasn't a fighter back then,
Reporter, he was just plain stupid to ever smurf up to me like
that. At least Tuffy cared enough to smurf his licks in, no
matter how many times I smurfed into fights with him. And don't get me started on that other showoff Duncan McSmurf, who just earns the nickname Gutsy from me because he has the guts to smurf up to me whenever he doesn't like something from me.
Reporter: Has your feelings about Empath ever really
change over the years or did you always smurf him as some kind
of obstacle to your own ambitions?
Hefty: Empath may have changed over the years, but I
don't think I ever really changed my opinions about him being a
show-off and all. I may have smurfed mysmurf down from how I
originally treated other Smurfs, but I still think those "third
eye" powers of his are no substitute for having the strength and
smurfitude of a real Smurf. He wants to prove to me that he has
that strength and smurfitude, he'd better smurf me that in
spades or else.
Reporter: You really think that being strong is all that
really matters when it comes being a Smurf?
Hefty: You think that I would be smurfing in here or
outside, trying to smurf this body into shape, if I didn't think
that was true? How many Smurfs can claim they have a rock-solid
healthy body like this? (He flexes his right arm to show
Reporter how "rock-solid" his muscles are.) One thing my Papa
Smurf, not Empath's Papa Smurf, smurfed me was that your body is
a temple and you should smurf it with respect. I don't poison my
body with those drinks that Tapper smurfs up or any kind of
drugs, I don't overeat or eat too much of the wrong things, I
don't smurf those inventions my brother Handy keeps smurfing up
that takes all the work out of hard work, and I don't smurf the
midnight oil like Brainy smurfs half the time writing those dumb
Quotation books that are only good for smurfing weights. It also
helps that I like to play sports, which I think more Smurfs
should be smurfing than just smurfing their time in the
Imaginarium with those ridiculous fantasies of theirs.
Reporter: You and Handy are twins, and yet the both of
you are so different. He cares more about smurfing machines and
you care more about smurfing yourself into a "machine". You sure
you don't feel a bit jealous about your brother being able to
smurf what he does and you can't even smurf that?
Hefty: Why should I feel jealous of him, Reporter? He's
got part of my Papa Smurf's talent for smurfing up things with
tools and such, I just have his desire for smurfing strong and
vital. He liked us both, but he still liked me better because I
was his firstborn. Handy can never smurf anything that would
ever change that, no matter what would have happened back then.
Reporter: You and Handy also competed for the heart of
Smurfette years ago, and now that Empath's back home, what do
you think about Empath smurfing his time with Smurfette, Hefty?
Hefty: I think the both of them are fools, but Empath is
the bigger fool trying to fool Smurfette into smurfing that he's
the only Smurf who will ever care for her more than any other
Smurf here. I can't believe that I was the first to even smurf
Smurfette out in the woods, back when she wasn't even a real
Smurf, and when Papa Smurf made her into a real Smurf, I felt
like I was the first in smurf in love with her, even though
Smurfette told me that she couldn't love me more than any other
Smurf. I thought maybe someday she might smurf me to be the one
Smurf she would want to marry, and then Empath smurfs back home
and ruins everything. So what if he's "more handsome" to smurf
at than even Vanity, who'd rather be in love with himsmurf or
maybe some other male Smurf than with Smurfette? I smurfed her
first and I loved her for much longer than Empath ever
will...she doesn't need to smurf around with some "beautiful
Reporter: Smurfs like being first really matters to you
Hefty: What can I say? I was the first among you Smurfs
to ever be smurfed into the village, which makes me the
oldest-smurfed young adult Smurf. Brainy was the last one
smurfed among us. And Empath is only about 7 years younger than
me, 3 years older than his half-brother Brainy. I can't smurf
how Papa Smurf would ever choose those young Smurfs over me to
smurf his place leading the village when he smurfs away. Brainy
would just waste our time smurfing on and on about what he calls
his philosmurphy while the village falls apart around us, and
Empath is...I don't need to keep smurfing what Empath is, I only
know what he isn't. You've got to smurf yourself as a winner in
this world or you're not going to smurf any respect from me.
Reporter: Smurfing back to the subject of Smurfette, do
you appreciate what she's smurfing with her life in the village,
besides being Empath's "best friend"?
Hefty: Honestly, I think I liked Smurfette better when
she wasn't smurfing anything other than smurfing care of Baby
Smurf and smurfing up the village with cleaning and such. I
liked Smurfette when she wore those dresses that really smurf
off her legs and all. Empath's been smurfing all these things
into Smurfette's mind, making her think she could smurf more of
her life than what she was happy with. I don't hate Smurfette, I
just don't think that I like everything that she's been smurfing
with hersmurf ever since Empath smurfed back here for good.
Reporter: It doesn't sound like you smurf too highly of
Smurfette trying to improve on hersmurf, Hefty.
Hefty: It's still my opinion, Reporter, and I'm very much
entitled to it, no matter what anyone else smurfs about it.
Reporter: Besides what Empath and Smurfette are smurfing,
you seem to be one Smurf who also objects strongly about Vanity
smurfing his time with beautiful things and Weepy not being
afraid to cry in public and such, saying that it's not how a
true male Smurf should act. What is it about their being able to
express themsmurfs freely and openly that you fear?
Hefty: I don't fear anything, Reporter, I just think
those behaviors aren't how male Smurfs should act at all. Empath
wearing a shirt when a real male adult Smurf shouldn't is just
more of the same thing. They want to smurf like a bunch of
sissies, that's their problem; I just rather not smurf them
acting that way in public. Nor would I want Baby Smurf or the
Smurflings to grow up thinking that adult male Smurfs should
behave that way. And I sure don't want Baby Smurf wearing a stupid kilt like that Duncan McSmurf, thinking he's so smurfly in it.
Reporter: I hate to remind you, Hefty, that you also had
to deal with a fear of your own...a fear of heights. You also
impersonated Smurfette one time to protect her from a troll king
that wanted to marry her. And yet another time when you were
smurfed in an elevator with Brainy at that smurfominium that
Architect and Handy smurfed up, you feared smurfing in an
enclosed space for too long and smurfed yourself out of there.
And should we even mention when Sassette, who smurfed out
to be the long-lost sister you had who was ensmurfed in that
crystal the Smurflings smurfed her out of, was being smurfed by
that evil wraith Avengella to smurf her vengeance upon you for
harrassing her when she and you were the same age, you bravely
smurfed out of your way to apologize to her for what you have
smurfed so long ago to her?
Hefty: Look, Reporter, if you're strong like me, you
should pretty much know that fear is something meant to be
conquered, not to control you like it does Scaredy – and I have
no problems with my smurfing clean with Sassette on that matter
because I love her with all my heart, just like I do the other
Smurflings. Weakling is one Smurf that I'm now proud of when he
smurfed out how to take control of himsmurf, even if it was with
that silly "can-do cream" that Papa Smurf had him smurf on his
nose. Pushover surprised the smurf out of me when he finally
learned not to smurf down when he says no to anybody. I didn't
even think he had the guts to even say no to me like that until
the day after that Foxfire Festival. But he's another Smurf I
now admire for his newfound smurfitude, as long as he knows not
to smurf it too far. And Clumsy...well, he don't have any
brains, but he sure has a lot of courage. Smurfing my place in
the mud-wrestling ring with that Wartmonger is no small favor to
ask any Smurf to do, even as injured as I was at the time.
Reporter: But Empath would still be one Smurf you won't
admire, even when every Smurf knows that he had lost much of the
life he could have smurfed here in the village and his life in
Psychelia wasn't any easier than our lives here.
Hefty: (again snorts in disbelief) Like that is going to
make me smurf my heart out on a sleeve for him...and I don't
mean my tattoo, either! Empath isn't going to smurf an ounce of
respect from me if he thinks smurfing on to those excuses is
going to make me smurf anything positive about him.
Reporter: Smurfing of your tattoo, Hefty, whatever made
you decide on smurfing one?
Hefty: That's simple...I want to show every Smurf that I
truly care about smurfing things for this village, even if I had
to smurf it with my own bare hands. I smurf my heart and soul
right where it belongs, on my shoulders. Other Smurfs might
think it's vain and silly, but that's their opinion, and just
like Smurf tails, every Smurf's got one!
Reporter: I think it's very brave of you to even ask
Painter Smurf to smurf you one.
Hefty: He knows a true master pizza or whatever he smurfs
it when he smurfs one. Sculptor, too, since he smurfed up such a
good statue of me. (Strikes a pose to illustrate the one used by
Sculptor for his statue.) I just wouldn't want him smurfing up
my whole body with a lot of unsmurfy colors. Vanity or Smurfette
might like that a whole lot more than I would.
Reporter: Let's smurf about the future, Hefty. Should
Empath ever have to smurf over leading the village when Papa
Smurf's time is through, would you still be fighting with him
over what he wants you to smurf?
Hefty: I would more likely question his thinking, but I'm
too much of a Smurf to ever disobey him or whoever leads the
village in the days smurfing. I only hope by then Empath would
have grown up a bit more and have smurfed over his "I missed out
on the happy-go-lucky Smurfland life" attitude, not to mention
stop trying to impress us with his "third-eye powers". Of
course, I'd be ready to smurf Polaris Psyche out of the village
over Empath's objections if he ever gets smurfed over any Smurf
here to lead a village. Who really needs an outsider who doesn't
know anything about being a Smurf to smurf that job?
Reporter: What if Empath and Smurfette want to get
married to each other? Would you be smurfing Empath tooth and
nail over that or what?
Hefty: Not unless he smurfs too pushy about it, I
wouldn't! Of course, if Smurfette and Papa Smurf decide to smurf
that, you better believe every Smurf would be smurfing mad, and
they sure wouldn't trust Papa Smurf's decisions any farther than
they could smurf him to the village limits from that point on.
That would be the only time you would smurf me and Empath ever
smurfing on the same side of any issue. Besides, I think Papa
Smurf would be better off not smurfing after Smurfette like
that, anyway -- the age difference between them is much bigger
than my biceps. I hope these answers satisfy your curiosity,
Reporter: They smurftainly do, Hefty. Thanks for letting
me smurf this interview with you.
NOTE: Hefty is voiced by Frank Welker in the Smurfs
cartoon show, and by Gary Basaraba in the 2011 Smurfs movie.