Empath's personal journal
This smurf decided to spend some time with Trader, the
village collector, who likes to collect things and even trade
things that he has for other things that he wants. This smurf
isn't sure why a Smurf like him would have such a hobby of
collecting stuff. He isn't an archaeologist like Indiana Smurf
who likes exploring ancient history, and he isn't like Sloppy
Smurf either. For the most part, he seems to prefer trading
things over just getting things for free, as if there's some
intrinsic value in exchanging items with somebody. Not that
the Smurfs haven't done trading before, but that was usually
with outside races that operate on their own trading systems.
Most Smurfs think this obsession with trading is very weird at
best and very "unsmurfy" at worst, as if collecting is all he
ever lives for. Sometimes Papa Smurf has to step in whenever
Trader goes after something that would cause trouble for him
and his fellow Smurfs. For the most part, though, his hobby of
collecting does very little harm to anyone but himself, as he
finds himself with more objects than he has personal living
Empath was looking through the various items Trader had
collected that were on display in his basement. "Signed
autograph copies of Quotations of Brainy Smurf," Empath said as
he noticed the books. "Does Brainy actually think you read any
of his books?"
Trader laughed. "He can think that all he wants. Me, I just
love smurfing a signed copy from him, because it makes him feel
important, and it also makes me feel that way."
"It's too bad you haven't thought of smurfing a museum with
everything you've collected here," Empath said.
"I tried to smurf this into the Smurf house of archives, but
with Indiana Smurf running the place, he's only interested in
collecting and displaying really ancient artifacts," Trader
said. "Besides, it's more fun trading all this stuff if a fellow
Smurf decides any of this is worth smurfing."
"Don't you get worried about losing your collection when
there's an earthquake or a fire that strikes the village,
Trader?" Empath asked.
"All the time, Empath," Trader said. "I hate losing a
collection that smurfed me a while to build up. But Papa Smurf
always keeps telling me there's more important things in life
than just worrying about a collection."
"That's true, Trader," Empath said. "However, this smurf can
see that every Smurf needs a hobby."
"Here, Empath, take a smurf at this!" Trader showed Empath a
display mannequin that was apparently wearing one of his new
suits, which looked like it got sewn up and patched.
"That looks like of this smurf's new suits," Empath said.
"This was your original smurfday suit, Empath," Trader said.
"The one you tore up when you got so disgusted with us smurfing
an idol out of you."
"This smurf can sense that, Trader," Empath said. "This smurf's
only question is why you would resurrect the suit."
"It was an important piece of history, Empath," Trader said. "I
didn't want to see such an important piece get smurfed in the
trash, so I managed to save the pieces, sew it back up,
and...well, you can't wear the thing, but at least it's on
Empath laughed. "It makes this smurf regret ever tearing it up.
But this smurf is glad that it's found a new home." Then Empath
noticed something shiny among the objects on display in Trader's
basement. He picked it up and saw that it was a coin made of
"Interesting item," Empath said. "It even has the image of Papa
Smurf on it. Where did you find such an object like this?"
"Actually, Empath...I didn't find it," Trader said. "I helped
to create it. It was part of the money system that was in place
about a few years before you smurfed home."
"A money system?" Empath asked, curious.
"It's what humans use, Empath," Trader answered. "They use
gold, silver, and copper in the form of coins to trade things
with. I can smurf you all about how this system came to be in
"This coin feels like it can already tell the story, Trader,"
Empath answered. "This smurf just needs to focus on the coin,
and maybe this smurf will see for myself."
"Go right ahead, Empath," Trader said. "I'll tell my story
Empath focused on the coin...and suddenly he found himself
transported back in time to the Smurf Village, about a few years
before his final return. Or rather, he appeared in a memory of
what took place during that time. As usual, whenever Empath
appeared physically in a memory, none of the Smurfs in that
memory...or any person that appeared in it...ever took notice of
him. He was just simply an interactive observer.
At that moment, he saw Jokey leave his house carrying a present
as usual. "Hey, who wants to smurf open a beautiful present?" he
called out. He then saw Vanity passing by. "Hey, Vanity, you
want to smurf open a present?"
"No, thanks, Jokey Smurf," Vanity flatly refused. "I already
know what's in your presents!"
Jokey then saw Grouchy passing by. "Hey, Grouchy, you want to
smurf open a beautiful present?"
"I hate presents," Grouchy said as he walked off.
Jokey looked a bit crestfallen. "Nobody wants to smurf open a
"Did you say you have a present, Jokey Smurf?" a familiar voice
asked. It was Brainy.
"Uh...sure I do, Brainy," Jokey said. "I smurfed this one just
"Oh, how nice of you," Brainy said, taking the present from
Jokey's hands. "I wonder what's in it!"
"It's a surprise," Jokey said as he closed his eyes,
anticipating what's going to happen.
Then came an explosion, and Jokey laughed as though Brainy had
opened the present only to find the usual "surprise" waiting for
him. But when he opened his eyes again, he saw that Brainy
hadn't opened his present yet.
"Hey, that wasn't my present that smurfed that!" Jokey said.
Brainy turned and saw what had exploded. "It's Papa Smurf's
laboratory!" he cried out.
The Smurfs who were nearby saw the explosion as well. Empath
joined the crowd as a few Smurfs went into the laboratory to
find Papa Smurf. He was lying in the wreckage unconscious with a
cloud of thick yellow smoke inside the room. As they dragged him
outside, the cloud of smoke was making those Smurfs cough like
crazy, and their eyes were hurting.
Smurfette joined the crowd that waited outside Papa Smurf's
laboratory. "Is he all right?" she asked, sounding worried.
"I don't know, Smurfette," one of the Smurfs said. "We need to
smurf him to the infirmary right away."
And so the Smurfs carried Papa Smurf to the infirmary, where
Medic did a brief examination of him. "He's still breathing, is
all that I can smurf you," he said after his examination. "Other
than that, I can't smurf you what's wrong with him."
"Papa Smurf was smurfing on an experiment when the explosion
smurfed place," Hefty said, trying to think.
"Then that's there we need to look," Handy said. "Maybe that
will smurf us a clue."
Empath watched as Handy, Hefty, and Trader sifted through the
wreckage of Papa Smurf's laboratory when Brainy entered.
"Anything you smurfed in here yet?" he asked.
"Not a thing, Brainy," Handy said. "This whole place is a
"Hey, smurf at this," Trader said, finding a piece of paper.
"This must be the formula Papa Smurf is working on." He showed
it to both Handy and Hefty.
"What does it smurf? I can't read the writing," Hefty said.
"I don't know," Handy said. "It looks like it's been smurfed in
Latin or something."
"Well, I, Brainy Smurf, am an expert in various languages, so I
can translate what it smurfs here," Brainy announced. Handy
handed Brainy the piece the paper. "Ahem...formula ad capitis
mala et alios dolores sanados..."
"Okay, Brainy Smurf, what does it say?" Hefty asked.
Brainy looked rather nervous, realizing that this was out of
his level of expertise. "Well...uh, that is to say...you see..."
"Good! Real good! We understand!" Hefty said, snatching the
paper out of Brainy's hand. "It looks like we need the help of
Homnibus the wizard to smurf this problem!"
"I'd be willing to smurf this to Homnibus, Hefty...if there's
something I could smurf out of it," Trader said.
"Saving Papa Smurf's life should be what matters to you,
Trader," Handy said, disliking Trader's attitude of getting
something in return.
"Yeah, unless you want to smurf up the issue with me," Hefty
said, showing Trader his fist.
Trader sighed. As much as he didn't like doing things while
getting nothing in return, especially for his collection, he
wasn't going to let his fellow Smurfs down, and not Papa Smurf
He got on board Feathers with the formula on hand and flew off, with everybody watching. "Well, if anyone can figure out what Papa Smurf had been smurfing on when that accident occurred, it's got to be Homnibus," Duncan McSmurf said.
"Let's pray that our Papa Smurf will have a smurfy recover when Trader smurfs back here with a solution," Tapper said as he stood next to Duncan.
"Now all we can do is wait for his return," Brainy said as he
turned away from watching. He then saw Jokey's present still
waiting for him on the ground. "In all that excitement, I have
nearly forgotten about it!"
But as Brainy opened the present, all it ended up doing was
exploding on him.
"On the other hand, I would have been better off forgetting
it," Brainy said.