Chapter 3

Tapper came out of his distillery with a barrel full of sarsaparilla ale when he saw his fellow Smurf Duncan McSmurf at work fixing up the damage that was left behind by Papa Smurf. "Great Smurfiny Crickets, my fellow Duncan, what was smurfing on out here while I was busy?" Tapper asked.

"You should have seen it, laddie," Duncan McSmurf said. "Papa Smurf became this big muscular smurf that was smurfing up the village until he saw Smurfette, and then Empath stepped in and smurfed the lassie away from him, and that made him so angry that he chased after Empath."

"Oh dear," Tapper said, sounding a bit fearful. "I just hope that Empath and Smurfette are all right, and that we can figure out what made Papa Smurf become the thing that he is now."

"Ah, here comes the laddie now," Duncan said as he turned and saw Empath flying back into the village with Smurfette in his arms.

Hefty greeted Empath with some consternation. "What the smurf had happened to Papa Smurf, Empath?" he asked. "And where is Papa Smurf now?"

"Papa Smurf is currently out in the forest, trying to pick up Smurfette's scent, Hefty," Empath answered. "This smurf led him out there with Smurfette when we found out."

"It was awful," Smurfette added. "Papa Smurf had smurfed into this beastly creature and he grabbed me and smurfed me so hard against his chest I couldn't breathe!"

"Well, as long as this smurf has Smurfette shielded, Papa Smurf can't pick up her scent and come back to the village, so we're safe for now," Empath continued.

"That's what this smurf wants you and Tracker to find out, Brainy," Empath replied. "Papa Smurf was in his laboratory where the whole thing got started, which is where you should start looking."

"His lab was so full of smoke, we need to smurf it all out before we can go in, Empath," Tracker reported.

"Handy's breathing device should help either of you out," Empath reminded them. "We need to get started, because this smurf can only keep Smurfette shielded from Papa Smurf's nose for a short time." He flinched briefly when he felt a slight throb of pain in his head, which made Smurfette look at him with some concern.

"We're already smurfing on it, Empath," Brainy affirmed, joining Tracker as they headed to Handy's workshop.

As soon as the air has been cleared, Brainy and Tracker examined the wreckage in Papa Smurf's laboratory. They could see the Smurfette sculpture Papa Smurf was working on now turned into mush by an overturned table. Throughout the whole search, Tracker smelled the air around him and noted something strange about it.

"Smurfs like some of Papa Smurf's chemicals have been mixed in with something else of a magical nature," Tracker stated. "Already I'm smurfing a bit more energetic than I already am, like being around Smurfette."

Brainy, who was wearing Handy's breathing mask left over from when a smelly creature from the far corner of the world had hatched in the village during Empath's absence, found an atomizer on the floor. "Tracker, what do you smurf of this?" Brainy asked as he handed Tracker the atomizer.

Tracker sniffed around the atomizer and noted something of it. "I do believe that's where the something else that mixed in with his chemicals smurfs from," he replied.

Tracker and Brainy turned over the atomizer to Empath, who recognized it for what it was. "That is Vanity's pheromone cologne, Tracker," Empath gasped.

"Well, whatever it was, it certainly got smurfed in with the chemicals in his laboratory and smurfed into something else," Tracker commented. "Papa Smurf must have breathed in a lot of this, because the air had mutasmurfic properties in it."

"That was my conclusion all along, Tracker," Brainy snapped as he removed the breathing mask from his face.

Empath could figure out the rest. "Apparently, Papa Smurf does have a crush on you, Smurfette," he told her. "He must have wanted to try this pheromone cologne out in order to attract you, and it ended up turning him into this love-crazed muscular grotesquerie of himself."

"You mean Nosey and Editor were right about him?" Smurfette asked. "That Papa Smurf is in love with me?"

"He's physically in love with you, Smurfette," Empath explained, "but his heart and his mind are not that attracted to you. That's the whole point of having a crush…" He stopped when he felt a sharp pain in his head that made him clutch his forehead.

Empath groaned slightly as the pain lessened, though it was still present. "This smurf's third eye is starting to weaken, Smurfette," he managed to say. "This smurf cannot keep you forever shielded from Papa Smurf's ability to pick up your scent because it is draining this smurf's physical and mental energies."

"Oh, no," Smurfette gasped. "We have to smurf Papa Smurf back to normal before that happens!"

"Unfortunately, Smurfette, the only way we can smurf him back to normal is if Papa Smurf actually smurfed it with you," Tracker warned. "If that air he breathed in smurfed up his desire to be around you like that, it won't reverse itself until that happens!"

"Papa Smurf has to mate with me?!?" Smurfette asked, not believing her own ears.

"Michty me, I sure don't want to think of Papa Smurf wanting to smurf that to the darling lass!" Duncan said.

"I would have to agree with you on that thought, my fellow Duncan, as inappropriate as it smurfs," Tapper said.

"Then we must find a way to keep Smurfette's scent blocked and also give Papa Smurf something to expend his built-up energy on to restore him to normal," Empath suggested, who was now clutching his head a bit more because of his mental energy being expended. "Brainy, you must come up with a pheromone blocker as well as an artificial version of Smurfette's scent to lure Papa Smurf away from Smurfette."

"Anything to prove I'm as good as an assistant to Papa Smurf," Brainy replied eagerly. "You can smurf on me to help, Empath." He quickly rushed off to get started.

Smurfette noticed Empath was headed to Tailor's house and stayed close to him so she would remain shielded until Brainy can find out how to create a pheromone blocker. "What are you smurfing to Tailor for, Empath?" she asked, curious about the whole thing.

Empath felt slightly embarrassed to answer, but for the sake of her safety he had to tell her. "We need that something to give Papa Smurf to transform him back to normal," he replied. "And Tailor is the only Smurf who can make that something very quickly and skillfully."

"You want me to smurf you a life-size doll of Smurfette?" he asked. “I hope it isn’t because you have some persmurfed thing in mind.”

"This smurf can assure you, it isn't for this smurf's use," Empath answered, trying hard to fight off the growing pain in his head. "We need to get a Smurfette doll made up or else Papa Smurf will come back for Smurfette and...smurf her!"

"All right, all right," Tailor fussed. "I'll start smurfing it up. Just don't blow your smurf in here!" He started to get his materials for the doll.

Duncan was waiting outside Tapper's Tavern when Vanity came around. "Say, Duncan, have you seen Tapper around?" Vanity asked. "I feel that I need to smurf with him right this instant."