"Reporter's Inside Stories: An Interview With Vino Smurf"

Story by Vic George
Based on the Smurf concept of characters by Peyo
Vino with a
          glass of smurfberry juice

Reporter: For today's Inside Stories, I'm going to interview another Smurf who's been smurfing behind-the-scenes in Greedy's kitchen, helping to prepare the daily meals that every Smurf praises Greedy for. This Smurf is the one who prepares all the drinks to satisfy every Smurf's thirst, and when he isn't busy in the kitchen, he's at the winery preparing other kinds of drinks that are often served at Tapper's Tavern. His name is Vino, and today we're going to find out what it's like smurfing for the master chef of the village and smurfing his own kind of work.

(Reporter finds Vino out by the wine vat, watching some of his fellow Smurfs stomping on smurfberries to turn them into smurfberry juice.)

Vino: Hello there, Reporter. You smurfed me right in the middle of my work.

Reporter: You actually have Smurfs doing this just for smurfberry juice all the time, Vino? I'm not sure I'd want to drink it knowing that some Smurf's foot has been in it.

Vino: Not all the time, no. Just when I'm smurfing juice so I can have it smurf in my cellars to ferment into smurfberry wine. And I'm very hygienic when it smurfs to having Smurfs do the stomping part. No Smurf ever goes into the wine vat without cleaning their feet first, and no Smurf leaves it without smurfing the same. This part of the job will always be messy, but I believe the end result is always worth the mess it smurfs.

Reporter: So you make sure this stuff is pure before you smurf it into bottles?

Vino: But of course! Why would I let you smurf you something that smurfs like anybody's feet? I make sure that my bottles are smurfing in the right kind of temperature for them to smurf into the wine that you would want to drink. Wine should never be smurfed before its time, so it will be a while before you get to smurf the batch that I'm smurfing now, but you'll like it when the time smurfs for it.

Reporter: Don't you think this kind of job smurfs the wrong kind of message about us to our readers, Vino, like this is all that we smurf is get intoxicated on wine and sarsaparilla ale that Tapper brews daily?

Vino: I have yet to see a Smurf who would want to smurf his whole day smurfing nothing but wine and ale, but I am responsible when it smurfs to who I let smurf my wines, which is why I don't let the Smurflings smurf any of it. My other job of smurfing the juices for everyday consmurftion keeps me plenty busy, and the youngsters are more than welcome to smurf the juices to their heart's content. Of course, there are the vegetables juices I make that only Hefty Smurf drinks like tomato juice, spinach juice, carrot juice, beet juice, and his favorite special blend, the Vita-Juice. He prefers drinking them more than any of the wines and ales that Tapper smurfs.

Reporter: Hefty's drinks aren't exactly my favorite, but to each his own, I guess.

Vino: I should think that every Smurf would want to eat and drink healthy, but I believe that a Smurf should eat and drink happily as well. It's one of life's pleasures that we should not abuse nor take lightly.

Reporter: I hear you on that. So tell me, how does it feel to work alongside Greedy in the kitchen, knowing he smurfs most of the credit for the meals while you, Biscotti, Gelato, and Culinary smurf away in the kitchen smurfing everything else?

Vino: I don't think of myself as a slave, Reporter, more like a servant. I work to make sure my fellow Smurfs are happy, and I work to make sure the head chef is happy. And if he's happy with the way that I smurf things, because I can tell when he is or isn't happy, then it doesn't matter if he smurfs all the accolades for the work that we smurf together in preparing the meal. Honestly, I don't think he can smurf it all without us, and we can't smurf it all without him to help us smurf it together.

Reporter: But drinks aren't the only thing that you smurf in the kitchen, Vino.

Vino: Ah, no. I like to smurf the oils and the dressings and the seasonings for the food as well. I always enjoy my meals with that extra touch that I know smurfs from my own hand. And I like to smurf all kinds of syrup: maple syrup for the pancakes, chocolate syrup for the milk and ice cream, and all kinds of fruit-flavored syrup for the seltzers that Tapper smurfs in his tavern.

Reporter: It must be a lot of work for you to smurf, even as part of a kitchen crew, Vino.

Vino: Hard work is what I enjoy the most, even though I also like to smurf a break from my work every now and then. Fortunately we're always there for each other when one of us needs to smurf away from the kitchen. It's like having a family within a family.

Reporter: Don't you hate when there's a famine and there's hardly anything for you to smurf with as far as food?

Vino: Oh, it just smurfs my heart when I have to deal with a shortage of food, Reporter. Greedy smurfs it even harder than us because he is such a gourmand that no amount of food ever lasts with him around. Handy tried to smurf a machine that smurfed artificial smurfberries when Gargamel destroyed all the smurfberry bushes in the forest except for one, but alas, the machine just couldn't smurf smurfberries to even smurf like the real thing. It's such a pity because Handy is a wonderful inventor who smurfs up all kinds of machines to smurf our jobs a bit easier.

Reporter: Every Smurf would prefer the real smurfberries over anything artificial, including myself. So what's it like growing up in the kitchen alongside the Smurfs that you've been smurfing with?

Vino: I would say that it's always been fun, because every Smurf in the kitchen is just so different in how they smurf their jobs. It's my brother Scribbler who decided that kitchen work just wasn't for him and smurfed his time with Picasso and his children so he can be a cartoonist. My Papa Smurf wasn't too keen on him abandoning a family legacy just so he could smurf silly drawings, but my Mama Smurf wants him to be free to smurf his own destiny, and sometimes I can't help but envy him for the choices that he smurfed with his own life.

Reporter: Do you miss your parent Smurfs since they've been gone from your life, Vino?

Vino: They have been my life up until that disease had smurfed them away like the other parent Smurfs, Reporter. Nobody among us ever thought that we would have to grow up so fast and smurf together a village with just Empath's Papa Smurf smurfing the whole show, not even Papa Smurf himself. Those twenty years between the loss and when Empath first visited us were the hardest, and I smurfed my best to be one of the best kitchen helpers because I didn't want to disappoint anyone, let alone Papa Smurf. But I will cherish those times because it helped me bond with my fellow kitchen helpers, and in a way it also helped me bond with Papa Smurf.

Reporter: Speaking of Empath, what was your first impression of him when he first visited the village years ago?

Vino: Oh, he smurfed like he didn't know whether he should be a Smurf or just smurf back to Psychelia, because smurfing around with us made him feel so uncomfortable in those early years. I wouldn't blame him if he never smurfed back here at all after the year he smurfed here. I just did what most of the other Smurfs did and try to make him smurf at home, introsmurf him to foods that he had never smurfed before. He was so curious about everything and yet it was like emotions were his greatest enemy.

Reporter: And what do you think of Empath nowadays?

Vino: Ah, he's so lively that I can't believe that this is the same Empath who first smurfed us years ago. He loves smurfing out the latest wines that I smurf, and he's very honest about his judgments and opinions. I don't think that I can be challenged enough to be a better wine and juice maker than I am now.

Reporter: Is he a challenge to you in trying to win Smurfette's heart, Vino?

Vino: With a hundred Smurfs in the village, I have always been in competition for that, Reporter, but somehow Empath just won smurfs down, and it makes me jealous in that Empath barely smurfed anything to do that. It was like he simply showed up in the village when she did, and BAM! it was all over for the rest of us. Of course, Empath still hasn't smurfed the question yet of whether she will marry him, so there may be time between now and who knows when.

Reporter: And what if the Smurfs discover a whole other village full of female Smurfs? Would you smurf your heart to someone among them?

Vino: She would have to be a very exceptional Smurfette to smurf my heart like Smurfette herself does, and a whole lot more. I would expect nothing less than that. If that's not the case, then I shall smurf on with my life and let nature and time smurf its course.

Reporter: It must be really hard to find perfection in a world that just isn't so perfect, Vino. How do you deal with that?

Vino: If the world can't be perfect enough for me, then the only thing I can make perfect is myself. I prefer quality in the things that I smurf, I prefer excellence, I prefer things that are beyond the simple standard. And I like to make others happy with what I smurf, which smurfs into everything that I smurf. If nobody likes what I smurf, then I will try to smurf better. I never want to just settle for ordinary when I know things can be smurfed better and that I can make things smurf better.

Reporter: I'm certainly glad for that, Vino. And on that note, I will close out this installment of Inside Stories. Thanks for letting me interview you, Vino.

Vino: Bon appetit.

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