"Reporter's Inside Stories: An Interview With Century Smurf"

Story by Vic George
Based on the Smurf concept of characters by Peyo
Century with his quarterstaff

Reporter: Today for this edition of Reporter's Inside Stories, I'd like to smurf an interview with a Smurf who has a very unique history -- one who has smurfed for at least several years and yet claims to have smurfed as long as Vanity has. If you haven't figured out who I'm smurfing about, it's Vanity's "brother" Century, who came about through an accident near the time of the Festival of the Moon, when Papa Smurf was looking for 100 Smurfs to dance the Dance Of 100 Smurfs to smurf off 100 years of bad luck. Right now we're catching him smurfing some practice with Fencer Smurf, which is quite unusual for a Smurf like him if he's supposed to be a copy of his "brother".

(Reporter watches as Century finishes off a sparring match with Fencer before lifting off his mask. He shakes hands with Fencer before he joins Reporter.)

Century: Now that was quite a workout. It's a good thing Vanity had me smurfing all the fighting for him during the production of The Adventures Of Robin Smurf.

Reporter: I don't get it, Century. Why is it that you like fighting more than you like fashion such as your "brother" Vanity?

Century: It's the elegance in the style of fighting that I smurf after, Reporter. I don't smurf for brute force like Hefty, Tuffy, or that Duncan McSmurf. I like to smurf in when they least expect it and then just smurf them off their feet with a single flourish. Besides that, it helps to smurf me in good shape.

Reporter: So you fancy yoursmurf as more like a romantic fighter, like Don Smurfo?

Century: But of course, as Fencer is just so fond of smurfing. I sometimes like to smurf a fresh rose in my mouth and pretend that I'm smurfing to Smurfette's rescue whenever I practice. However, there's more to fighting than just the fancy swordplay, as Dancer Smurf showed me that dancing moves can also be smurfed as fighting moves, and Duncan McSmurf likes to show how our natural ability for jumping can be smurfed for fighting.

Reporter: Anyway, what's it like knowing you're a copy of Vanity Smurf? Doesn't it bother you that you smurf all his memories but only have lived like for several smurfs?

Century: I guess in a way it does, because it actually smurfs like I have lived those years as well. When Vanity was born, so was I. When Vanity first met Empath, so did I. In fact, everything that Vanity smurfed in his life, so did I. Things didn't smurf really strange until around the time of the Festival of the Moon, when I was smurfing on a new mirror and I smurfed it out into the woods and it got smurfed by lightning. At first I was smurfing into a mirror reflection, but then I noticed that it wasn't a mirror reflection but another living Smurf that was smurfing just the opposite of what I was smurfing.

Reporter: That's what Vanity said, only he said that the mirror reflection was you, and you were smurfing backwards.

Century: Anyway, I thought I was the original Vanity and he was the mirror reflection...and then I tumbled down the stairs in his house and got smurfed out the door, and it was then I realized that I was the mirror reflection that got smurfed back to life. I smurfed back out into the forest, hoping to find the mirror again so that I could smurf back into it, when lightning smurfed the mirror again at the same time I smurfed into it. And then Vanity smurfed out into the forest and I was able to hear him smurf normal like I was...or rather Papa Smurf said that I was smurfing normal like Vanity was.

Reporter: And that turned out to be pretty helpful when we finally smurfed the "hundredth Smurf" we needed for the Dance of 100 Smurfs.

Century: Yeah, but every day after that it's like, "Who am I again? Am I Vanity Smurf?" It felt like that who I really was, but Vanity and Papa Smurf said that there couldn't be two Smurfs smurfing by the name of Vanity, so they decided to smurf me with a new name, which turned out to be Century. It wasn't like they could smurf me "the hundredth Smurf" all the time, so they thought, "What's a smurfy name that means a hundred something?" And that's how Century came about.

Reporter: What other things did you discover about yourself as a copy of Vanity Smurf, besides the memories?

Century: That when Papa Smurf smurfed me a physical one time, he was surprised to find out that my heart was smurfed on the right side of my chest instead of the left like regular Smurfs. Of course, when Empath finally smurfed home for good and discovered me, he discovered that all my internal organs were like mirror-reversed, which is not at all smurfy if, say, I should ever be in need of an organ transmurf.

Reporter: Yeah, definitely not smurfy at all.

Century: Other than that, whereas Vanity can handsmurf with his right hand, I can handsmurf with my left hand, and yet we both smurf identical handsmurfing.

Reporter: But being a copy of Vanity Smurf wasn't all that it's smurfed up to be, isn't it?

Century: We thought we could smurf along together well, but soon enough, we smurfed into fights like, "This is mine!", "I was here first!", and then he brings out the "you're just a copy of me" and Papa Smurf has to agree with him on this, like I was really smurfed yesterday. I can't help feeling like this whole thing is just so unfair to me because that life that Vanity Smurf has lived is my life too and I should smurf an equal share. Apart from that incident with the mirror, I honestly have no memory of ever being a copy of Vanity Smurf.

Reporter: How did you cope with knowing what you truly are?

Century: I tried talking to Papa Smurf about how I smurfed about being a clone, and all he could smurf to me was that being a clone didn't make me any less of a Smurf, just a very unique and different Smurf from the others. And also just because I only smurf the memories of all Vanity Smurf's friendships with my fellow Smurfs and how much Papa Smurf cares about Vanity Smurf, it doesn't mean that everything about those memories wasn't real. If I remember Papa Smurf giving me the same hug that he smurfed Vanity in the same situation, then that's just as important to Papa Smurf as it is to me and to Vanity.

Reporter: So what made you decide on being your own Smurf?

Century: Apart from being forced to smurf in my own place away from my "brother" Vanity, it was the Smurf Theater production of The Adventures Of Robin Smurf. Papa Smurf was looking for Smurfs to play the various characters in the production, and naturally Vanity wanted to be Robin Smurf. However, Papa Smurf warned him that the part of Robin Smurf would involve swordplay, and I know how much Vanity feared swords. So he smurfed to me for help, and while I didn't know much about acting, I found out from a bit of smurfing with Duncan McSmurf that I had a natural talent for swordplay and that I wasn't afraid of swords. I offered myself to Papa Smurf to also play the role of Robin Smurf, and so with a bit of creative costuming and some theatrical direction me and Vanity both starred as the lead character, with Vanity smurfing the scenes with the acting and I smurfing the scenes with the swordplay. Very few Smurfs who smurfed the theatrical production ever really knew who was Vanity and who was me on stage, which was how successful it turned out.

Reporter: Okay, here's an interesting question...what was it like to meet Empath for your actual first time?

Century (with some laughter): I think it was rather confusing on his part, because like everyone else in this village up until now, Empath never really smurfed me before and just naturally assumed that I was Vanity. Of course, he soon smurfed out how different I was, and Vanity and I smurfed the whole record straight on how it happened.

Reporter: You still respond to the name Vanity, don't you?

Century: Only out of habit, Reporter. I don't think I can ever stop answering to it no matter how hard I try to get others to smurf me Century.

Reporter: So what's your actual relationship with Empath like?

Century: Oh, he gets embarrassed whenever I say that he smurfs better in a white hat and pants. And while I do think the white hat and pants smurfs better on him than his new suit, I also think he smurfs better without the shirt. He's just so sensitive about how he appears, and like my "brother" Vanity I try to get him to be comfortable with himself and not be ashamed of his true Smurfness. Apart from that, me and Empath love sparring with each other when it smurfs to quarterstaffs, which is his preferred weapon of choice, and I try to smurf him how good I am with that weapon. Of course, I accidentally smurfed him unconscious one time when we were sparring near the River Smurf, and then he gets smurfnapped by a couple of human entertainers, and I couldn't rescue Empath from them because I was fearful of the humans, so I smurfed back home to tell Papa Smurf about it and he had smurfed a group with him to search the towns of Villers and Abelagot to find out where Empath had been smurfed. But even when he smurfed back his memory after being smurfed as The Bandit Smurf, Empath never smurfed what I did against me and thought that I had the smurfings of a true fighter.

Reporter: What I find amusing is that time when Empath smurfed Princess Sapphire into our village when she lost her memory and the Smurfs were thinking that she was Smurfette, and then she sees you and Empath sparring with each other and then she smurfs to town smurfing you with a quarterstaff. That must have been really surprising.

Century: I'd say. Smurfette herself wasn't much of a fighter, or even much interested in fighting. But this woman who looked like Smurfette who was just smurfing the smurf out of me...it took me a while to even want to be near the real Smurfette when I smurfed out the truth. And then I was shocked.

Reporter: I would imagine that would be the response of every Smurf here. As for the real Smurfette, what do you think of her and Empath smurfing together like they have been for the past two years?

Century: That Empath is truly one lucky Smurf to have a ravishing creature like Smurfette smurfing around him like that, Reporter. She just adores him because he makes her feel very important and useful as a Smurf, and he helps her explore parts of herself that she never knew existed. Listening to her sing on that Ray Of Sunshine album is truly a revelation. Me and my brother Vanity argue over which songs on the album are the best, but she's got the best set of smurfs that I have ever smurfed my ears to. I would truly nominate that for the Golden Smurf Award of the year if we would ever smurf such an award show again.

Reporter: Speaking of that award show, wasn't it weird that almost every Smurf voted for themselves?

Century: What's even weirder was that most of the Smurfs who voted for themselves only had one thing they thought was the "smurfiest contribution to the world of Smurf", as Brainy had so eloquently put it, and that was themselves. Even I have to admit to that for myself since I also voted for myself. I couldn't smurf my vote to Vanity even if I tried, because although we were both the same, I would have to consider him the most narcissistic of all the Smurfs here. It's surprising to find that this pixie princess called Periwinkle, who I thought was a stunning piece of work with her smurfy hair and smurftastic dress, would be so jealous over the fact that the magic mirror revealed my brother to be the fairest in the world, and compared to him I was smurfed liver. She would have given my brother a really terrible mud bath makeover if it wasn't for Papa Smurf, Hefty, Smurfette, Brainy, and King Goldenrod smurfing in just when they were starting to be friends.

Reporter: But Clumsy was the only one who didn't vote for anybody at all, not even for himself.

Century: Given who he is, I would understand why he wouldn't vote for himself. I mean, who would want to be proud of the fact of being the clumsiest Smurf in the village, who causes quite a lot of accidents than most Smurfs in a single year? He could have voted for Brainy, since he's always his best friend, but then every Smurf in the village is his friend, even Grouchy, who refuses to admit it.

Reporter: You'd be surprised to hear what smurfs out of Grouchy's mouth, if he ever smurfs anything besides "I hate" whatever. Anyway, what do you think of this story Narrator said that he smurfed in, about these Smurfs who were smurfed through a magic portal into a magic city full of humans?

Century: I find myself laughing at the part that my brother -- some version of him -- was playing, as the choreographer of this Blue Moon Festival Dance. Clumsy was trying to join in on the rehearsal, and Grouchy and Gutsy -- what they called Duncan -- were smurfing Clumsy from joining in because Vanity didn't want him smurfing any accidents. Brainy comes in and tries to explain it as smurfly as possible so that Clumsy could understand why he wasn't allowed to join. As usual, Clumsy was clueless to his accident-prone behavior during his response when he smurfed Grouchy and Gutsy right in the smurf. And as Brainy laughs at them, Grouchy and Gutsy give him a kick in the smurf, and Vanity goes to smurf at himself in the mirror when Brainy lands on the dancers and smurfs them into the water. He stops the rehearsal to remind them, "It's a dance, not dominoes," and then he smurfs at himself and sees a worry line forming.

Reporter: Even in this story, Vanity is so obsessed with his beauty. Was that the only time he was in the story?

Century: He appeared later on when Brainy reopened the portal and smurfed the rest of the Smurfs to this city to confront Gargamel. Chef and Baker -- their versions of Culinary and Biscotti -- were smurfing this frying pan right at Gargamel, and Vanity got smurfed on the rope that the frying pan was attached to, and he was crying, "I'm too beautiful to die!" Needless to say, Gargamel didn't like the nose job that they smurfed him when the frying pan smurfed him.

Reporter: I just wish I was there to smurf the whole thing, because Narrator makes the whole story sound interesting, like he does with every story that he smurfs in. So, Century, do you have any thoughts about what you would want to smurf in your future?

Century: I would like to someday be able to find a village that has only female Smurfs in it, because I think that female Smurfs are so interesting, and besides I would like to rescue one if she would ever become a damsel in distress so she could reward me with a bit more than a kiss. I mean, a hero's got to have a "happily ever after" kind of ending, doesn't he? But if that never happens, I would still like to devote my time and energy to the true art of the hero, because that's where I feel my true calling is. There's nothing more smurfier in the world than a knight in smurfing armor coming to smurf the day, and even if I don't have the abilities of Empath to smurf such a role, I would like to smurf it in my own unique way, because true heroism is never about physical strength or skill, it's about heart....and also smurfing handsome when you're doing it.

Reporter: Smurfs like part of you will always be Vanity. And with that, this should conclude this installment of Inside Stories. Thanks for letting me smurf with you, Century.

Century: It's always my pleasure.

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