Here is some information and statistics on SI behavior that I've decided to add to my page:
Millions injure themselves
There are roughly 1.9 million cutters, or people who intentionally harm themselves in America. And one source says that 750 out of every 100,000 people in the United States practice some form of self-injury. While these numbers don't tell us much about why people choose to physically harm themselves, they do reveal there are a lot of people intentionally injure themselves. But despite what the recent glut of stories about women who cut themselves, cutting is not on an epidemic level among young women, stresses Laura Mason, Ph.D., director of the Psychology Clinic at University of California at Berkeley.
Helping Yourself
"Sex experimentation and eating disorders are much more common than cutting or self-mutilation," she says. But, as some people know first hand, cutting is often associated with self-destructive relationships, school failure, rejection from guys and can also be a response to the stress that young women athletes have to deal with -- sometimes it's a way to exert control over their bodies and their lives.
Relief from the pain
For those of us who have never cut or intentionally injured ourselves, we probably wonder why, if a young women is feeling depressed, stressed out or overwhelmed by her life, does she cause herself physical pain?
Many cutters report that when they harm themselves, they feel relief rather than physical pain.
"I cut because all the pain flows out with the blood and I feel relief," says one person.
She echoes what many others self-injurers frequently report feeling when they harm themselves -- a release of tension, pain and confusion.
Another young woman says she "takes safety pins, knives, curling irons, anything I can get my hands on and hurt myself, almost daily," and she wonders "Am I the only person in the world who does this?" As you can see, she is not alone.
Who hurt themselves?
The people who most commonly engage in cutting and self-injury are girls and women between the ages of 13 and 30. This is a time when many of us are coming to grips with identity and body-image issues. And these years can get tough.
I began self-harming when I was 15yo. I don't remember why I began but I do remember how it felt. It was amazing! It hurt, but I was in control of the pain. It was like I was purging all the "bad" that I felt inside. I felt like a weight had been lifted off of me, but most of all I felt ALIVE.
I had many bouts with depression growing up. I felt dead inside...that is, when I managed to feel anything at all. Cutting brought me to life after feeling dead. I had CONTROL of my pain, CONTROL of my life...or so I thougt.I would hide disposable razors and break them apart and use the blades to scratch and cut my arms. Sadly this went unnoticed for many years
FAST FORWARD to the year 2000. I was 30yo and had endured being raped, the death of my father, a miscarriage and several abusive relationships. My life was in shambles. I was an alcoholic, drug addict, sufered from eating disorders and was recently diagnosed as Bi-Polar . I was briefly hospitalized in an inpatient mental health program which, luckily, allowed me to go home nights and weekends. I was on leave from work but when I returned I was experiencing horible panic attacks
I continued to self-harm. Now using box cutters to slice my arms, legs, lower back and abdomen. I would also use car lighters to burn my arms and would "accidentally" burn myself with hot pans, the oven door and even the toaster. I started therapy, again, quit my job and moved to (of all places) Arkansas.
I haven't actively cut for several months, although everyday it's a struggle not to, and have been clean and sober for almost 2 years. Some good things came out of all this: I found out who my "real" friends were, I finally realized that my family DOES love me and met my wonderful boyfriend Steve. Its been a long hard road for me, but I've learned so much...lessons I will never forget and I am a stronger person for it.
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