My Mom found out that she had breast cancer on March 31,1987.She was 38 years old,and was told that even though her mammogram 2 years earlier had detected nothing,the cancer had probably been there for at least ten years.

She had a modified radical mastectomy of the right breast on April 1,1987. She was in the hospital for about two weeks afterwards,and was sent home after her drains were removed.(For the record,it is my opinion that these insurance companies are nuts for sending a woman home HOURS after a mastectomy now.)She had her first chemo on May 1,1987, the same day as my Senior Prom,and still managed to help hem my dress.

She did the usual 6 months of chemo,Tamoxifen,adriamycin,and cytoxin(pretty sure those were the drugs used.)
I came home from seeing my boyfriend in New Orleans in mid July of 1987,and found out Mom was in the hospital with lymphodema.Sherry and I used to sneak in and smuggle brownies and fudge to her,lol.

For the next 5 years,Mom was cancer-free, but then she began noticing that her back hurt quite a bit.At first,she thought it was an old injury,but when she mentioned it to her Doctor,he sent her for some tests.They came back as being stage 4 metatastic bone cancer.This was in 1993.The doctors at the VA Hospital in Cleveland gave her anywhere from 6 weeks to 3 months to live. Ouch!

The first thing my mom did was find a different doctor.She went back to the doctor who had been her oncologist 5 years previously, Dr. Paul Manuszak of the North Canton Medical Foundation.
Dr. Manuszak felt that Mom's cancer could be controlled with chemo and radiation. Over the years she took adriamycin,cytoxin,Nolvadex(tamoxifen)taxol,and many,many others.I believe that she also tried taxotere,but had a reaction that nearly killed her. I was married and living in North Carolina during her last 7 years battling the dragon,so it is hard for me to recall all of her treatments.

In March of 2000,Mom had a very severe nosebleed,and ended up being hospitalized. Imagine my surprise upon showing up at Aultman the week before Easter to visit my mom and grandpa, and asking where Grandma was,and being told that she was in a room down the hall from my mom!

Talk about a shock! Apparently, the Alliance City water system was having some HORRIBLE water problems(The water smelled like Pine-Sol,and no way would I drink it)My grandmother was having stomach problems,and Dr.Manuszak also was fairly certain she had lung cancer.My grandfather had had throat cancer about 3 years prior, and was acting odd.He was suspected of having brain cancer.

We went back to North Carolina. And I was having a really hard time. Mark and I had 5 small children who loved my mom dearly,and they needed me.But I had this overwhelming guilt that I had to be there for my mom.

I can remember one morning vividly.Mark and I were driving to Burger King one morning at 4:30,and I could not stop thinking about my mom.She really had had a crappy life,married at 18,a mother before she was 20,and divorced by the time she was about 25. She spent a bit of time in a mental ward,I rarely got to see her.She got married again to a MONSTER. Larry was an alcoholic who beat her,let his teenage son abuse her,and one night,he put all of her belongings in the yard,poured gasoline on the pile,and set it on fire. She lost almost EVERYTHING she had ever owned that night.The only thing not destroyed was my sister's baby book,and a photo album that had pictures from when she was dating my Dad.
The final straw was when Larry ran her out of the house one night in her nightgown,and tried to mow her over with his car.I was very young at the time,but I remember very clearly the huge black eye my mom had the day she came to get me for my birthday.
She told me she had gotten hit in the face with a softball,but I believe she told my Dad Larry had hit her.We spent the weekend in Akron at a shelter for battered women. I remember making friends with the daughter of the couple who ran the shelter.Her name was Mindy Koehler.It was my ninth birthday,and we had SOOO much fun!
My mom gave me a really pretty cross pendant,and Mindy and I got to decorate my cake:)
My mom later found out that Larry's first wife,Lana,had died after *falling* down the basement steps.Of course,no one believed she had simply fallen,but they also had no proof that Larry had pushed her.Lots of folks suspected he was beating her,but since she would never tell anyone at the hospital how she really was getting hurt,they couldn't help her.
So,after about a year and a half,mom not only was granted a divorce,Larry was ordered to not ever try to contact any of us again.
So,I sat there in the van,thinking about all of this,and trying so hard to not cry. I just HAD to be there for her. She NEVER made me feel guilty,but let me tell you,she didn't say "No" when I told her I wanted to come to Ohio,either.So,about three days after we had gotten back from Ohio,I was on a bus.I took the bus back to Ohio on April 4. I got in around 9 am with my three youngest children.Clifford was 4,Missy was 2,and Madison would be one on the 7th. My mom's friend Charlie,who is also the Pastor at Canal Fulton United Methodist Church,came and got us from the bus station,and took me to get my mom's car. Poor mom! She had gone grocery shopping just before her nosebleed,and so there was a gallon of milk in her car for over a month!! Boy,did it smell,lol. Now, when I smell sour milk,I think of my mom.

So, I took the kids to the hospital to see Grandma(NEVER,EVER did anyone at the hospital give me a hard time) and she was told she could go home the next day.YAY!!

Well,she did go home,and it was horrible. I am going to insert a message I made at a couple of groups here now.

I am new here, and started reading the posts when yours caught my eye.My mom was 51 when she died on May 4, 2000.She too, was diagnosed in 1987, and did six months of chemo. A month after her 5th year being "cancerfree", her back began to hurt, and she was fatigued all the time.
A series of tests showed bone mestasis.In 1994, she was given 3 to 6 WEEKS to live. In August last year, she had steel rods inserted in her left leg, and in October, rods were put in her left arm. She wound up hospitalized in March for severe nosebleeds. I came up to visit in April, left, and came back to Ohio 2 days later.
I stayed in Ohio for five days, during which time Mom was released from and readmitted to Aultman hospital. I spent my youngest daughter's first birthday in Ohio with my Mom in the hospital.
We left on April 10, and on April 30, my grandpa (her dad)passed away.It started out that only my husband and two daughter's were going to his funeral.However, 4 year old Clifford decided to come, and due to my forgetting the keys to her car at our house, CJ and Jonathan managed to beg me into coming too.
So we are in Ohio at the funeral,which I videoed for Mom(she couldn't leave hospital due to brittle bones)and Clifford falls asleep at the funeral and is SNORING, to everyone's amusement.
We went to the hospital that afternoon so Mom could see the kids and funeral, and to get her rent check to give her landlord. She teased Clifford, and the grandkids told her they would see her soon. she was planning on moving to NC with us on June 1, so we were getting her things ready. Mark took the kids to the van so I could wheel mom to the ATM. She wanted to give me some money to spoil the kids, and for gas.( I took her to the hospital gift shop to get a crossword puzzle book and some pretzels) I asked if the spot of cancer on her head hurt(lump)and she said no. I asked what the dr was telling her as far as time left, and she told me he wasn't worried, her tumors respond well to the treatments, and she would tell me if that changed. I told her I would see her later, and left.She called that night to remind me to get the rent from her. We talked about Grandpa, and his crazy wish for his ashes to be disposed. (he wanted a plane to drop him during lunch over B&W,the plant he had worked at. !!!!LOL)I told her I refused to put her ashes into my garden, so she could "be" with the grandkids.We were joking about THAT, and it was the last time I ever spoke to her.She called late that night to remind me AGAIN not to forget the rent, nag nag nag!!
At 4 am we are loading the kids except Madison, into the van, for the trip back to NC. I had already brought her pig collection home, and all her craft stuff, so now we were giggling like bandits while we grabbed her lawn furniture.
Mark left at 4:30, and I read a book until 6. I thought around 5 til 7 I would call her , but figured she would be asleep ,so I didn't.At 7:30, my grandma called and told me that mom had fallen on the way to the bathroom, and was complaining of headache and nausea, so it was off to the CT for her. Madison and I got to the hospital at 9, and when I got to TCU the nurse stopped me, and said that mom had fallen, and was asleep.
I said oh, okay, I'll go sit with her til she wakes up. Then she said Liz, your mom is unresponsive, we can't wake her up, and then it hit me, what they were saying. I stood there thunderstruck, and said (quite loudly I'm sure)I'm not ready for this, I'm not ready for this. I ran to her bed, and could see the veins in her head bulging,and told her to wake up, she wouldn't, and by now, there were people trying to take Maddie from me, and I was saying I am going to be sick, which I meant not physically sick, just SICK from shock.(I remember them offering me something for the shock,and I refused it)
From: lynnannsgirl Date: Fri Jun 16, 2000 9:37 am Subject: part two
She was laying there sleeping away. Everyone was trying to track Mark down,and Mom's best friend, and Pastor came rushing in, "Oh Lynnann", he said , "I'm here."My Grandma arrived with my Aunt Marlene, and my Uncle Mike came as well from work.Grandma said, "It's ok Lynnann, Mom's here," and all I could do was cry. Three times the menu people came for her menu, and finally, one said, Oh is she going home today? I just mumbled yeah , you could say that.I swore if one more lunch person came in, I would stuff their menu down their throat!!
Marlene went to smoke, and Maddie finally fell asleep at the foot of Mom's bed. Just as I saw my Mom take her last breath, Maddie smiled in her sleep, it was a HUGE smile, and then she didn't wake for two hours after that,not even when they took her to the solarium.I stayed with Mom until 1:30( she died at 11:45 a.m.)when they finally convinced me she was ok( no one would disturb her body)
There is so much more that happened that morning, but I cannot believe I wrote all this, and bored you to bits. This is the first time I have ever really told anyone what happened. I can't talk about it yet.

I am sorry I took up all this space, she was my life.BTW, she is sitting on my desk right now!!I won the garden war!!LOL
From: lynnannsgirl Date: Fri Jun 16, 2000 9:13 pm Subject: Re: part two
I forgot that Marlene had gone to smoke a cigarette, and at the precise minute my mom was leaving us, Marlene came running into the room, she said she she felt like mom had left her. It was odd how Maddie smiled, and Marlene came back at the same time!
I just remember being numb, and kept saying I had to pay the rent( I actually did find the rent check, and paid it that night)
There were severe thunderstorms that night on the way to Akron to meet Mark's plane, but it was so wierd, I guess my uncle's car is well insulated, because I could see the hellacious lightening all around us, unbelievable lightening, but could not hear a stroke of thunder. I just sat there and kept wondering what was she doing now??? I know she went to Heaven, she praised God during her whole illness, and always said she knew where she was going, just no hurry to get there.It was like a dream, hard to explain what I mean, just an odd night all around. I felt like she was on my shoulder,and I still have not really cried.
I can't stand to hear snoring now, mom snored at the end,no tubes, and I know several of you know what I mean about the labored breathing sounds.I can't watch certain movies, because it reminds me of how she looked. We noticed her eyes were trying to open all morning, and right beforer she died, her left eye opened. I said Hey Mom!! Your eyes are open! And it was like she was looking straight at me, even though I guess it was reflex. Mark says he thinks Mom was looking at me. I was told she felt no pain, but could hear us, and I feel guilty for crying and carrying on.I was never really screaming, just not exactly quiet either! I hope I didn't make it harder on her than it was for her already. She did die with dignity, as she wished, and I will be forever grateful for that.

Jeez, I did it again. Sorry, but this felt good.

Liz
From: lynnannsgirl Date: Sat Jun 24, 2000 8:57 am Subject: Re: part two
Thank you Kat for your kind words. I'm glad you got a chuckle from our garden war! I just get irritated when I think that those were the last words we spoke to each other!! Mom had a good sense of humor, so I know it didn't bother her. Did I tell you that she wrote her own obituary( it was too long, and I couldn't use it in the paper so I put it on her buliten.)sp. She also wrote her entire funeral service.Maybe I will scan it and put it in the photos for you all to see. It was odd, she had three songs picked--Friends by Michael W. Smith, and 2 Bette Midler songs- Wind beneath my wings, and the rose.
I went crazy for three days looking for the music tapes) On the last try, I found friends, but no Bette Midler.So I got an Amy Grant tape that had Thy Word , and I can't think of the other one.So I got to the church and told Rev. Charlie that I couldn't find the Bette Midler, so here was Amy Grant. He said the organist found sheet music for the 2 Bette Midler but not for friends
So, we played the one tape, and the organist did the other two. My mom's funeral was May 9, my little girl's third birthday.

Two and a half years have gone by.I had a baby son on July 13,2001,and my sister had a baby daughter two weeks ago.I hate that my Mom is not still here to see her grandchildren grow,but I am thankful for the time that she did have with them. The kids still talk about Grandma,and the things that they used to do together.Missy still tells Madison about the tea parties she and Grandma used to have,and how Grandma would say she was going to *squash us like bugs* if we stole her spot,lol.She tells Jason about Grandma too,that she watches over them from Heaven.I find myself sounding more and more like her,lol.

Updated November 6,2005
Mom's graduation picture

Mom in the U.S. Army-1967 Me! Me and my mom.1973 This is around 1985.My mom was a missionary in Gressier,Haiti for several years.The man sitting with her is her best friend,Don Koontz. Mom and CJ- November 1991 Mom,CJ and Jonathan- August 1993 Mom,CJ,and Jonathan-November 1993 Grandma Wellman,Mom,Me,CJ and Jonathan. Thanksgiving 1993. Mark,CJ,Me,and Jonathan.November 5,1994 Mom,CJ,Jonathan and Clifford-November 1995 Mom and Clifford. November 1995. Grandpa Wellman,Jonathan and CJ.Eesh,the bad habits they pick up,lol. January 1996 Mom,Jonathan and Clifford.April 1996 Mom and Clifford. April 1996. December 1996.Clifford is feeling his baby sister, Missy kick him.Madison McKenna Nicole and her Grandma. April 1999

Choose One Welcome Page Halloween 2002 Jason's babiesonline page Password Protected**Nov 2005 March 2003 Pics 2002 Adult Halloween Party pictures April 2003 Pics Wedding Album starts here Our Wedding Cake Leading up to the BIG day Group Photos Wedding Reception Candid Wedding shots Our son,Christopher Our son,Jonathan Mardi Gras 1 More Mardi Gras The Birthday Boy In memory of my Mom Starting the second year of Jason's Life. Mark's knee surgery My DOOL Softball Tournament Pictures Breast Cancer Risk Calculator

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