SIGNS ON BATHROOM WALLS

Friends don't let friends take home ugly men
Women's restroom, Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE

Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" its "Hi, how are you?"
Rest stop off Route 81, West Virginia

No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired
of putting up with her shit.
Men's Room, Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, N. Carolina

A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're
going to have trouble with it.
Women's restroom, Dick's Last Resort, Dallas,Texas

Express Lane: Five beers or less.
Sign over one of the urinals, Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills, CA

You're too good for him.
Sign over mirror Women's room, Ed Debevics, Beverly Hills, CA

No wonder you always go home alone.
Sign over mirror in Men's room, Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills, CA

The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open.
Women's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL

If you voted for Clinton in the last election, you can't take
a dump here. Your asshole is in Washington.
Men's room Outback Steakhouse, Tacoma, Washington

Beauty is only a light switch away.
Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, North Carolina

If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then
let's all get wasted together and have the time of our lives.
Armand's Pizza, Washington, D.C.

Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die.
Men's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL

What are you looking up on the wall for? The joke is in
your hand.
Men's restroom, Lynagh's, Lexington, KY