Ladies, you'll know your man REALLY loves
you when you get poems like this!

REDNECK LOVE POEMS

Collards is green,
my dog's name is Blue
and I'm so lucky
to have a sweet thang like you.


Yore hair is like cornsilk
a-flappin in the breeze
Softer than Blue's
and without all them fleas.


You move like the Bass,
which excite me in May,
you ain't got scales
but I luv you anyway.


Yore as satisfy'n as okry
jist a-fry'n in the pan,
Yore as fragrant as "snuff"
right out of the can.


You have some'a yore teeth
for which I am proud,
I hold my head high
when we're in a crowd.


On special occasions
when you shave under yore arms,
well, I'm in hawg heaven
and awed by yore charms.


Still them fellers at work
they all wont to know,
what I did to deserve
such a purdy young Doe.


Like a good roll of duck tape,
Yore there for yore man;
to patch up life's troubles
and fix what you can.
 

Yore as cute as a junebug,
a-buzzin' overhead;
You ain't mean like them far ants
I found in the bed.


Cut from the best cloth
Like a plaid flannel shirt,
You spark up my life
More than a fresh load of dirt.


When you hold me real tight
Like a padded gunrack,
My life is complete;
Ain't nuttin' I lack.


Yore complexion, it's perfection,
Like the best vinyl sidin'
Despite all the years,
Yore age keeps a-hidin'.


Me'n'you's like a Moon Pie
With a RC cold drank,
We go together
Like a skunk goes with stank.


Some men, they buy chocolates
For Valentine's Day;
They git it at Wal-Mart,
It's romantic that way.


Some men git roses
On that special day
From the cooler at Kroger
"That's impressive," I say.


Some men buy fine diamonds
From the flea market booth.
"Diamonds are forever"
They explain suave and couth.
But for this man, honey
Diamonds won't do
Cause yore way too special
You sweet thang you.


I got you a gift
Without taste or odor
More useful than diamonds
IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR!!