Ladies, you'll know your man REALLY loves you when you get poems like this! REDNECK LOVE POEMS Collards is green, my dog's name is Blue and I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you. Yore hair is like cornsilk a-flappin in the breeze Softer than Blue's and without all them fleas. You move like the Bass, which excite me in May, you ain't got scales but I luv you anyway. Yore as satisfy'n as okry jist a-fry'n in the pan, Yore as fragrant as "snuff" right out of the can. You have some'a yore teeth for which I am proud, I hold my head high when we're in a crowd. On special occasions when you shave under yore arms, well, I'm in hawg heaven and awed by yore charms. Still them fellers at work they all wont to know, what I did to deserve such a purdy young Doe. Like a good roll of duck tape, Yore there for yore man; to patch up life's troubles and fix what you can. Yore as cute as a junebug, a-buzzin' overhead; You ain't mean like them far ants I found in the bed. Cut from the best cloth Like a plaid flannel shirt, You spark up my life More than a fresh load of dirt. When you hold me real tight Like a padded gunrack, My life is complete; Ain't nuttin' I lack. Yore complexion, it's perfection, Like the best vinyl sidin' Despite all the years, Yore age keeps a-hidin'. Me'n'you's like a Moon Pie With a RC cold drank, We go together Like a skunk goes with stank. Some men, they buy chocolates For Valentine's Day; They git it at Wal-Mart, It's romantic that way. Some men git roses On that special day From the cooler at Kroger "That's impressive," I say. Some men buy fine diamonds From the flea market booth. "Diamonds are forever" They explain suave and couth. But for this man, honey Diamonds won't do Cause yore way too special You sweet thang you. I got you a gift Without taste or odor More useful than diamonds IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR!!