Bumper Stickers2

     BEST OF BUMPER STICKERS:
    
     Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your ASS?
    
     If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!
    
     Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an asshole....
    
     100,000 sperm and YOU were the fastest?
    
     Your gene pool needs a little chlorine
    
     You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you
    
     DON"T PISS ME OFF! I"M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE THE BODIES!!!
    
     You are depriving some village of its IDIOT
    
     Save your breath....you'll need it to blow up your date!
    
     Forget world peace...visualize using your turn signal
    
     My Hockey Mom can beat up your Soccer Mom!!
    
     Grow your own dope, plant a man!!
    
     All men are animals, some just make better pets
    
     Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them
    
     I used to have a handle on life, but it broke
    
     WANTED:  MEANINGFUL OVERNIGHT RELATIONSHIP
    
     BEER: it's not just for breakfast anymore
    
     So you're a feminist....isn't that cute
    
     I need someone really bad....are YOU really bad?
    
     Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder
    
     All men are idiots...I married their king
    
     The more you complain, the longer God makes you live
    
     IRS:  We've got what it takes to take what you've got
    
     Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now
    
     Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs
    
     Out of my mind...back in five minutes
    
     Hang up and drive
    
     Rehab is for quitters...
    
     Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips
    
     I took an IQ test and the results were negative
    
     Where there's a will....I want to be in it
    
     It's lonely at the top, but you eat better
    
     Don't drink and drive...you might hit a bump and spill your drink
    
     We are born naked, wet and hungry...then things get worse
    
     Friends help you move, REAL friends help you move bodies
    
     Consciousness: That annoying time between naps
    
     Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
    
     Be nice to your kids...they will pick out your nursing home
    
     Always remember you're unique...just like everyone else
   
     HONK IF YOU WANT TO SEE MY FINGER!!