There are two major periods in Van Halen history: the David Lee Roth years and the Sammy Hagar years. The first period was probably the more commercially successful (on the face of it with two Diamond albums to its credit it would seem to be a watertight case but it isn't quite that simple), and Diamond Dave was certainly quite the rock & roll frontman. Of course, they changed rock history and most bands since are indebted to their legacy; in the process they knocked out more than a couple of good songs, too. But it had its shortcomings. Dave, for all his great moves and outrageous behaviour, could not sing; by his own admission he sounded "like four flat tyres on a muddy road." On top of this, in spite of their status as a world-class multi-platinum rock act, all of the early Van Halen albums were terribly produced, which subsequent remastering has barely salvaged. Additionally, the standard of songwriting in this period was secondary to EVH's stunning guitar work and Roth's antics on stage and screen.
      Much more interesting is the period with Sammy Hagar, not least because it is hugely underrated and therefore not much has been written about it. But this period is mainly more interesting because some of the albums produced within it actually sounded great, Hagar's songwriting skills produced the best Van Halen songs ever, and most of all because Hagar, while not quite the showman Roth was, could REALLY sing. Most hair bands had singers who were adequate but nothing to write home about. Hagar has a huge, manly roar with tons of grit and great range as well as emotional singing. Oh, and he can play guitar pretty good too… well, good enough to stand next to Eddie every night and not get totally humiliated.

Were they even a hair metal band? Oh, do be quiet. You know as well as I do there'd be no hair metal without them… or if there was it would have totally sucked (OK, so hair metal mostly sucked anyway!).

What's the story then? 1985: Van Halen, riding the success of their most commercial and most successful album to date, 1984, discover that Roth has left them and is topping the US chart without them. "Ah well," says Eddie, "Roth's ego was bigger than Van Halen anyway." And they set about finding a team player, finally enlisting successful  solo artist and former Montrose main dude Sammy Hagar. Anyone with any money would have bet that superstar Dave Lee Roth would outlast Van Halen, as Roth gathered an impressive array of musicians around him. Still, Van Halen's 5150 was a powerful answer, with the first single going top 5 and the album topping the US chart. Follow up OU812 was not actually particularly good but this failed to prevent it from being a huge success. Then, with the turn of the decade, Van Halen needed to produce something powerful to show it was still relevant. They did; For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge, whilst attracting controversy for its title (notice the first letter of each word), was a gritty and convincing album and the band's most consistent to date. A double live album, Live: Right Here, Right Now preceded Balance, which would be the last Van Hagar album. Every single Van Hagar release went multi-platinum Stateside but you know the ensuing fiasco as well as I do.

Were they any good then? If there is a definitive shredder, it's Eddie Van Halen. With their commercial sensibility added into the equation, and Sammy Hagar's great songwriting and equally killer set of pipes, Van Halen's spectacular brand of loud-mouthed party metal is simply classic. I realise that they are probably a completely different band to Roth's Van Halen but they are a great band in their own right. Van Halen's great achievement is that they created a genre, and then stayed at the forefront of that genre during the peak of its commercial success. Now that genre is a spent force, but Van Halen have outlasted it. OK, I know 3 flopped, but trust me, there would be massive support for a good new Van Halen album.

Best album? Live: Right Here, Right Now, contrary to popular opinion, is a masterpiece. OK, as a live album its pretty much a con because this album was blatantly airbrushed, doctored, and genetically modified in the studio. Nevertheless, it has virtually everything good about Van Hagar, complete with beefed up guitars, more energy, more guitar explosions from Eddie, more speed, and more power. Virtually every song sounds better than in its original incarnation but the remixing ensures that it never gets muddy; the backing vocals and harmonies are spot-on too. OK, as a live album maybe it's a bit fake, but as a beasty 2CD Greatest Hits of Van Hagar with added excitement, it's hard to fault. The lack of a rhythm guitarist means on some songs when Eddie goes to solo things can sound a bit empty, though, and there's a disappointing lack of songs from the Roth era. I thought it would be a good chance to hear a decent singer romp through the old Van Halen hits but on balance Hagar doesn't really have the personality to do "Hot for Teacher" anyway (besides which "Hot…" just is pretty crummy).
     I can't help feeling it's cheating to select a 2CD live album as the best, though, in which case For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge is a great second. For a start, Van Halen finally get a decent production job on record. For seconds, it's their most consistent record to date. 5150 is excellent, but it contains dud moments, and when an album is only 9 songs long, it simply can't afford bad songs. Carnal Knowledge opens with the hit "Poundcake" and keeps it coming with "Judgement Day". "Judgement Day" is quite a triumph because it's the first time in the Hagar era that VH really get a very fast song right. The bridge section that begins "So tell me why should I…" is simply chilling, and the only thing that's a shame is that they don't play it enough times. "Spanked" is a poor showing and "Pleasure Dome" is entirely forgettable, and by the time you've written off Eddie's nylon-string guitar solo "316" as akin to a bite-size meringue -- pleasant but ultimately of no consequence -- you're down to 8 songs. Still, whether it's the song everyone remembers Van Hagar for, "Right Now", or the pop-rock anthem of the latter Van Halen period, "Top of the World", Eddie and the guys never falter. There are some killer grooves in here, some great choruses, and, naturally, some great guitar playing. I can't help feeling that "Runaround" could be improved, but, hey, it's still a great romp. Monstrous.

Come on, they must suck in some way: Well, I'm a lifelong believer that every band should have two guitarists, and, no, not even King Ed can be two guitar players at once (although he comes close at times). And they only left us with four studio albums.

Band rating: 95%

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