The Elusive Episode Guide
Ratings:
****= A Degrassi classic!
***= An entertaining episode
**= 'Tis okay, but could be better
*= The cure for insomnia
zero stars= Too horrible for words! No, no. Zero stars means that I have either not seen the episode, or haven't seen enough of it to rate it.
(You'll see -- it's pretty obvious when reading this -- that I have a much clearer memory of certain episodes than others. But even though some descriptions might be vague, I didn't give anything a rating unless I at least remembered enough to know how I felt about it. )
Term 1
Kiss Me, Steph: Coincidentally enough, this was the first Degrassi Junior High I saw when I began watching the re-runs! Anyhow, it's the beginning of the term, and Stephanie Kaye and Voula appear to be best friends. But Voula is very surprised when she sees Stephanie changing from her good-girl clothes into the first of many trashy outfits. "Steph" is in Grade Eight now, you see, and she wants to change her image! Besides dressing like a you-know-what, she decides to run for school president. Stephanie gets Voula to write her speeches and all that hard stuff, while she takes care of the kissing that every campaign calls for. Only Stephanie doesn't kiss babies, she kisses all the boys (like goofy Joey Jeremiah.) Of course, this enables Stephanie to win the election, but she loses Voula's friendship when she thanks her "manager" Joey instead of Voula. Meanwhile, we hear the word "broomheads" for the first time, after Joey locks new geeks Arthur and Yick into the broom closet. And speaking of Arthur, he happens to be Stephanie Kaye's brother (though his last name is Kobolowsky, not Kaye) -- but Steph makes him promise never ever to tell anybody, since he is a lowly Grade Seven dork, and she is "cool" and in big bad Grade Eight. Watch for the twins trying to be in Grade Seven, with Erica going by the name "Stacy" for some reason. Watch for Liz, the alleged second-season "new girl", too. ***
The Big Dance: Those Degrassi kids were always having school dances, weren't they? This is the first time we see them do so. Voula, Stephanie, Lucy Fernandez, and twins Heather and Erica "My name is not Stacy" Farrell are all looking forward to it. Trouble arises in the form of Voula's strict Diana's brother-esque father, however -- he forbids her to go to the dance! But cool Voula sneaks out and goes to the dance anyway. Stephanie, Lucy, and the twins have permission to go to the dance, but their parents would probably not have been happy with their pre-dance activities. They go over to Lucy's (whose negelectful parents aren't even home!) and get drunk. Then they head for the dance, Stephanie decked out in one of her Madonna getups, and all four of them giggling and acting grating. When they get there, much to the disappointment of Steph and her date Wheels (not Joey!), Stephanie realizes she is sick, and has to spend the dance in the bathroom. Voula's still mad at Steph, but she makes the big speech and foster-child check presentation (remember, Stephanie's school president, so this was supposed to be her duty.) Naturally, Voula's dad shows up ... naturally, he hears the speech, and decides he's proud of her. **
The Experiment: It took me a few viewings to appreciate this DJH episode. Arthur, ever the nerd (he gets teased by that meanie Shane in this), is awful at basketball -- but good in school. His buddy Yick is the opposite, at least in Mr. Raditch's class. Raditch gives Yick bad grades, and calls him "Mr. Yu the Disorganized." (How abusive! He'll hurt Yick's self-esteem!) Actually, Yick just thinks Raditch stereotypes, so he and Arthur decide to conduct an experiment. Yick will help Arthur with basketball if Arthur gives Yick his sister Stephanie's old papers. At first, Raditch apparently doesn't notice ... and for some strange reason, he gives Yick better grades than he gave Stephanie, telling Yick he has improved. However, one day he discovers Yick's "experiment" and exposes Mr. Yu the Disorganized's cheating ways to the entire class! The ending finds them working out their differences, with Raditch promising to be more fair if Yick does his own work and does his best (the last shot is of them grinning cheesily at eachother.) In the sub-plot, Joey Jeremiah overhears odd Melanie wanting drugs. So he sells vitamins to Melanie and Kathleen and some other suckers, pretending the vitamins are drugs ("Joey F. Jeremiah, esquire ... 'f' for pharmacy!"). They fall for it, and even fake being high, but Farmacy's experiment is uncovered just like Yick's. The kids chase Joey to the broom closet, where Arthur and Yick call him a broomhead.***
The Cover-Up: School picture day is approaching at Degrassi, and Joey (in full Freddie Haskell mode; he even talks like old Freddie in this episode!) is all set to make it a classic case of the four J's ("Joey Jeremiah and his jean jacket"!) Unfortunately, his mum has decided the last two j's are no good anymore. She decides to fix Joey's jacket up or throw it away or something, and she and Mr. Jeremiah also ... make Joey clean up his room! Joey can't take it! "You know what this is? This is child abuse!" he says. In the meantime, another Degrassi student (Rick Munro) actually is being abused by his father, contrary to Joey's flippant complaints. The two boys just happen to cross paths after Rick (for no apparent reason) offers to sell Joey his brother Frank's old jean jacket. Joey accepts, and goes over to Rick's dingy pad. There, Rick grabs two pops for himself and Joey, but then his father comes home. Mr. Munro wanted a pop, too. Uh-oh! Instead of just taking Rick's or Joey's (which they barely drank out of, if they did at all) he starts yelling at Rick, so Joey escapes ... but he hears Mr. Munro hitting Rick. The next day, Joey tries to talk to Tim (?!) about this, until Raditch hears him "socializing" and sends Joey to that invisible principal's office (by the way, is that Diana in the Grade Eight class, sitting in front of Spike?) On the way out of the office, Joey asks secretary Doris Bell, "Doris, what if you knew someone who was getting beat up by his dad?" Doris, in typical nosy administrator fashion, replies sharply, "Joey, is there trouble at home?" Joey says no and runs away, but since he has a bruise on his eye from falling off his skateboard (at the beginning of the episode) she calls child protection. The school pictures are taken (Rick scowls, Melanie's hair covers her face) and Joey wears his cool new jacket. He still hasn't paid Rick all the money, though, so they go over to Joey's house ... where an Ersatz Howard Jones from CPS is talking to Joey's parents, accusing them of child abuse. Joey admits that his parents only "yell at him sometimes"; then Rick starts backing away as Howard Jones says, "If it isn't you that needs help, then who is it? Because he needs help very badly" ... all the while, staring with knowing suspicion at Rick. They meet up outside, where Howard impresses Rick with his bike and manages to convince him he needs help. In the end, back at Degrassi Junior High, Susie and Caitlin (who have been trying unsuccessfully to make Rick smile throughout the episode, by wearing pig noses -- and going "Oink! Oink!" -- and cracking jokes) see his face finally light up with a grin at his new "buddy" Joey, as he tells Joey he's going to live with Brother Frank. ****
The Great Race: A Degrassi episode I have yet to see. It sounds rather entertaining! Melanie Brodie has the Judy Blume-ish dilemma of being flat-chested ("You're so flat the walls are jealous!", mean Joey is said to taunt her.) She's also the star of her girls' swim team, which is challenged by the boys' soccer team. With the help of her "best friend" LD, Melanie beats a boy named Jason and wins the challenge. I assume she overcomes that other dilemma, as well.
Rumor Has It: Hoo, boy. What an episode. There's a dullish subplot about Yick and Rick and Arthur and lost money and licorice. But mostly Rumor Has It revolves around Caitlin and Ms. Karen Avery. Ms. Avery is a very affectionate teacher, patting and touching her students. She doesn't do it in a Mr. Colby way, but her touchy-feely-ness DOES cause Caitlin to have dreams where she sits on Avery's lap and the other kids chant like zombies, "Lesbian. Lesbian. Homosexual." (Check out the way they turn the pages in their books, too, all robotically. Caitlin's dreams are a little horrific, but funny!) Caitlin appears to be questioning her own sexuality, and her confusions probably aren't helped by the rumor going around that her beloved Ms. Avery is attracted to women. ("Ms. Avery's gay, you know. She's a lesbian.") Kids say they have seen her holding hands with a woman, and Caitlin herself sees Avery "peck" a woman in her car. At a slumber party, the girls prank-call their teachers (snicker), and ... a woman picks up at Ms. Avery's house (and it isn't Avery!) Kathleen and Susie act "homophobic" about the rumors, but Melanie says she isn't prejudiced. Poor Caitlin doesn't know WHAT to think! Finally, she confronts Ms. Avery outside, and Avery makes up excuses for all her hints at lesbianism (adding "Would you still like me if I was gay?") Rumor Has It was BANNED in Britain, but you can't be a Degrassi fan without having seen this episode!****
The Best Laid Plans: The Degrassi mice and men have their little minds on s-e-x in The Best Laid Plans. Namely Stephanie Kaye and that sex symbol Wheels, who plan a Big Date. Somehow, word gets out that their Big Date includes going "all the way" -- which makes Joey chant the annoyingly brain-sticking phrase of "All the way with Stephanie Kaye!" Wheels goes to buy some condoms, and he buys them from -- who else? -- Stephanie's mother, who recognizes Wheels when he comes to the Kaye household. But she doesn't stop them from going all the way. Wheels and Stephanie decide that themselves; they're too young, and too scared. Also, Yick and Arthur keep themselves nervous and excited with a rented gross video. I've only seen this episode once, and with all due respect to it, it wasn't my favorite. **
Nothing to Fear: Ditto for Nothing to Fear. LD is a nice girl, I guess, but she's kind of charisma-free ... and this episode is all about her. At the beginning, her dad makes her angry, so LD mutters for him to "drop dead." I thought it was going to be like this dedication I heard on Casey Kasem's radio show ages ago, where a girl told her father to drop dead before she left somewhere, and when she came home he'd had a heart attack and died. Instead, Mr. Delacourte indeed has a heart attack, but fortunately he lives. He DOES have to go to the hospital, where LD won't visit him, because it reminds her too much of her late mother. Her friends (who I think casually visit Mr. Delacourte themselves) change her mind. There's a subplot about Melanie being afraid of snakes. * 1/2
What a Night: Another I have not seen, but it's among the DJH's I want to see MOST! Stephanie meets her favorite soap opera star (I can just imagine!) and apparently she lies about her age and he tries something with her, making her cry, "But I'm only 13!" In the other plot, bad Lucy and Voula shoplift.
Smokescreen: I haven't seen this one either. Tough-guy Rick Munro takes an interest in the environment. Thrillsville. Also, Yick needs an heirloom for a family-history presentation thing (Yick's family history sounds similar to the one Siluck S, his real-life alter ego, mentioned in Degrassi Talks!) and I guess he doesn't have any, so he buys a cheap vase. Arthur breaks the vase, and thinks he's broken an actual heirloom. (Didn't Arthur pronounce "vase" like "voss"? I did see a clip of this in that Christmas flashback episode.)
It's Late!: Still aNOTHER episode on my "haven't seen!" list. I believe it won an Emmy, and it sounds like a very important Degrassi moment, because this is when the notorious teen mother Spike becomes ... pregnant. ("Mum -- I'm pregnant," she's quoted as saying. The daddy, of course, is Shane McKay.) There's a side story about Yick's crush on Melanie, and again, I saw a clip of this in that flashback episode. Yick tells Melanie her eyes are as blue as "pimming swools". She laughs at that, and as an embarrassed Yick slinks away, he turns and says, "Broomhead!" Was he talking to Melanie?! Ha ha, if so!
Parents Night: Gasp, I have seen this! I don't have the strongest memories of it, however. A man looms around Degrassi Junior High staring at Wheels, making Wheels think he is about to be molested (no, Derek, that comes later.) But the man turns out to be Wheels's hapless biological musician father, Mike. Biological father?! Wheels is very surprised by this news, and tries to deny it. The other kids find out, and mother-to-be Spike has a talk with Wheels about whether or not she should give the future Emma up for adoption. Parents Night also features the Zit Remedy choosing their classic band name, and Joey trying to keep his parents from visiting the school and learning about his rambunctious behavior. **
Revolution!: I wish I'd taped this episode, but I only saw it once. (I'd probably give it another star if I got to watch it again.) Stephanie wants to make Wheels jealous, so she starts hitting on his best friend, Joey. She even tries to make non-sports fan Joey the sports rep instead of Yick! But all her evil ways are eventually found out, making her fellow students decide to try and impeach her. They even tape up "Impeach Stephanie" signs in the halls and such. At the end of the episode, pathetic-ish Steph cries in the bathroom. She only wanted them to like her! ***
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